Well, I Panicked. Then I Handled It

The triumphant return of the MCU right after the awesomeness (and billion dollars) of The Avengers. I remember Iron Man 3 came out right before the first episode of Agents of SHIELD. It seemed from the trailers that Mike Peterson (one of the superhuman protagonists\antagonists) had Extremis in his system, since he was glowing red and all that. And yes, we found out from the Iron Man 3 trailer about Extremis. In 3, Extremis can heal catastrophic wounds, make the recipient superhumanly fast, strong and hot, and makes them glow from the inside with the possibility of blowing up. Was Mike a former soldier in Aldrich Killian’s employ? No, it turned out he was something completely different and would eventually become the small screen’s version of Deathlok. Anyways, Iron Man 3 is a decent movie but kinda suffers from the fact that the ending (spoilers) show Tony destroying all his suits but then in Age of Ultron, he’s back to being Iron Man (but without Pepper). More on that later. This movie crucially introduces Trevor Slattery, AKA The Mandarin. He’s slated to be in a few more movies, specials and TV shows in the MCU timeline. We also get Harley Keener, who’s a kid in this flick but appears as a teen in the funeral scene in Endgame. He’s (probably) destined to be important in the future. Great music, not just AC\DC (not that that’s a bad thing). More suits, same masks, same tasks.

 

• This movie was directed by Shane Black. He was Hawkins in the original Predator movie and even directed an installment. As per most Shane Black movies, it’s Christmas
  
  
  
  
  
•  “We create our own demons. Who said that first?” I can’t really find who said first, only that Tony Stark said it in Iron Man 3
  
  
•  1999: Bern, Switzerland at the 2000 Tech Summit. As reported in Iron Man, Tony made an incomprehensible speech on a complicated subject and everybody still knew who he was. We meet his future mentor, Hope Yinsen, as well as Dr. Wu. In order to appeal to the Chinese and international markets, Dr. Wu’s role was expanded in China. Google calls it “3-4 minutes of Chinese-exclusive material.” In the American version, you see Dr. Wu just one more time at the end. He’s established as a heart doctor, and Tony uses him to remove the shrapnel from his heart
  
  
  
  
• We also meet Maya Hansen (Stark’s 1999 botanist paramour) and Aldrich Killian, who is dorky and disabled. Rebecca Hall is Maya, she was in the recent Godzilla movies. Killian is played by Guy Pierce from LA Confidential. Happy Hogan looks like John Travolta in Pulp Fiction (the news uses this picture of Happy during Spider-Man No Way Home). Maya’s ficus has had its DNA changed using Extremis but it blows up when injured
  
  
  
  
  
•  Happy and Tony mention “Y2K.” This refers “to the infamous "millennium bug"—a massive software glitch where early computers abbreviated four-digit years to two digits, risking catastrophic system failures at the turn of the century. Tony and Maya have a one-night stand and go separate ways. Tony tricked Killian into going on the roof and left him there all night. Kinda cruel. Fun fact: my first real job out of college involved scanning insurance automation documents for any Y2K issues!
  
  
•  In the Iron Man comics from the time, lightning and the Y2K bug malfunction causes one of Tony’s Iron Man suit to gain sentience and go evil. True story.
  
  
• Back to the present. Tony Stark has been up for 72 hours straight in a manic state, a symptom of his PTSD from the Battle of New York. He’s now the Stark Industries R&D division since he is no longer head of the company. He has JARVIS play 2 records at the same time and discover it’s Christmas! He’s introducing a new set of armor, the Mark 42, showing he has been building a lot of suits in the time since Avengers. He’s turned into quite the martial artist since Iron Man 2. The birthing session goes disastrous
  
  
• A strange video appears with the 10 Rings symbol. Yes, the same organization that kidnapped Tony in the first movie and has an immortal leader. We learn through subsequent movies that this is not the same 10 Rings terrorist group that kidnapped Tony, but a fake one created by Aldrich Killian’s think tank AIM. And they will not be happy with somebody using their name
  
  
  
  
  
• Anyways, one thing I noticed on my first movie theater watch is that the Mandarin never says what he wants, no demands. Weird for a terrorist organization. He mentions an 1864 Sand Creek Colorado massacre of Native Americans. Regrettably, this did take place
  
  
• He also mentions a recent explosion at Ali-Alsalam Air Base in Kuwait. This also exists and is used as a primary military hub for the Middle Eastern region. There were no Mandarin explosions there in real life, but it has been the target of terrorists in Kuwait. Watching the movie, we find out these explosions were a cover for the accidental Extremis explosions when they get too hot. Most of them were military, so it makes sense for an explosion to happen here
  
  
• We’re introduced to the current MCU President, Matthew Ellis. His name also appears on the dedication to the Captain America Exhibit in the Smithsonian in Winter Soldier. We also see his VP, actor Miguel Ferrer from Robocop, who sadly passed away a few years ago. He’s posing next to the re-marketed Iron Patriot (James Rhodes, formerly War Machine). If you look carefully, the AIM logo is on the footage, showing us that Aldrich Killian’s think tank is up and running. I love the look of the Iron Patriot. I hope it comes back one day with Norman Osborne at the helm
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• We see a bunch of media people commenting on Iron Patriot. Bill Maher, who still has a show on HBO called Real Time since 2003. There’s also the late Joan Rivers who hosted Fashion Police on the E! Network. One thing I can’t stand is the laughing sycophant George Kotsiopoulos. Her comment wasn't that funny
  
  
• Rhodey and Tony meet at a restaurant called Neptune's Net. It’s a real restaurant in Malibu, CA. It’s been around since 1956 and serves seafood by the ocean. And, holy shit, it was the restaurant in the original Fast & Furious movie. He also mentions Einstein slept 3 hours a year. It’s a popular myth, but the internet says he slept the normal amount of time (if not a little more) a year. They’re talking to some kids (Erin and her brother), Tony makes a joke about A Christmas Story (Ralphie, who not only produced the first Iron Man movies but also starred as William Ginter-Riva) and freaks out and discovers it’s an anxiety attack
  
  
  
  
  
• Happy Hogan is now head of security at Stark Industries, obsessed with ID badges and ticking off all the staff. Killian meets with CEO Pepper, they used to work together (maybe at AIM?) and he had a crush. He shows her an alleged hologram of his big brain. But we know it’s not his brain since it still has the “hole” in it where Extremis is destined to go. She denies his partnership offer since Extremis can be weaponized. I know in a previous draft, Killian uses Extremis to put the whammy on Pepper and make her have an affair with him. We also meet his right-hand man\psycho named Savin. Savin also has Extremis and is quite the warrior. He also likes chewing gum. The actor is married to former NCIS star Eleanor Bishop
  
  
  
  
  
• Happy becomes “Forehead of Security” and mentions the Super Friends.That’s a DC cartoon property from the 70’s on with Superman, Wonder Woman, Firestorm and the rest
  
  
  
  
  
• “Failure is the fog in which we glimpse triumph,” a phrase Kilian’s idiot father would mention. Again, the quote circles back only to Iron Man 3
  
  
• Pepper comes home and sees a giant Christmas present bunny in the driveway. At first I thought the damn thing had boobs – but it was just its stubby arms. Tony says he’s having somebody come tomorrow and blow out the wall to get it inside – and that’s exactly what happens, except a little more explosionsy
  
  
  
  
  
• There’s a cool sculpture in Tony’s house called “Tornado.” It’s made from the wrecked Formula 1 cars wrecked in Iron Man 2. What a great piece of in-house art!
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony finally admits that New York changed everything. He knows he has PTSD and can’t sleep and has anxiety attacks. He’s just a “man in a can.” Makes sense, the other Avengers were used to dealing with this sort of thing: Thor’s an Asgardian warrior of many battles over the centuries; Captain America went through WWII has a Super-Soldier; Hawkeye and Black Widow are also used to dealing with violence; and Hulk is a rage monster
  
  
  
  
  
• In his sleep, Tony accidentally calls the armor to him and almost attacks Pepper. Pepper is wearing the same shirt Peter will wear in his first movie
  
  
  
  
  
• Grauman’s Chinese Theater is located in Los Angeles California. It’s famous for hosting huge movie premiers (at least 6 MCU movies as well) and has the famous handprints and footprints of celebrities. You can visit it with a walking tour and it still has showtimes for movies. In this movie, it’s hosting a generic Holiday Film Festival (which is something they’ve never hosted). Happy catches Savin giving some unknown drug (Extremis) to another guy. This other guy blows up!!!! Happy and Savin survive, but the other theater goers are silhouettes on the wall, like Hiroshima or in Watchmen. One thing I noticed was that the soldier seems to suck in the Extremis like an inhalant but all other test subjects got it injected
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Of course, the Mandarin takes credit for it since it was one of his soldiers that blew up. He’s awfully sweaty and wet in this video where he talks about fortune cookies. We briefly see the Slap Chop guy in the video salad that precedes his message. Once again, the Mandarin never says what he wants
  
  
• Happy’s in the hospital and likes Downton Abbey, Sundays on PBS
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony’s address: 10880 Malibu Point 90265. Unfortunately, the house doesn’t exist in real life. Tony’s very pissed with the Mandarin and wants to kill him. No Avengers, no politics
  
  
  
  
  
• The explosion is 3000 degrees Celcius. Once again, Google tells me that oxyacetylene torches burn that hot. Tony once again uses the Oracle cloud to chart similar explosions
  
  
• Maya shows up with a “ding dong” entrance and states there’s not a 13 year old kid in her car. When they’re all arguing, there’s a Jarvis stocking in the background. Presumably, this is something young Tony made when Jarvis was still a human butler
  
  
  
  
  
• The Mandarin’s helicopters (disguised as news choppers) suddenly show serious weaponry and fires on the cool mansion. Pepper gets the armor put on her, years before she would get her own as “Rescue” in Endgame
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony arrives in Rose Hill, Tennessee (where the first explosion took place) and wants to put the armor back on in order to warm up. It’s probably why he installed one in the Spider-Man suit. He also steals a poncho from a wooden Indian
  
  
• Harley Keener’s garage. Harley’s a paper boy whose father ran out for scratchers years ago and never came back. Harley has a potato gun and gets a “pinata for crickets” weapon that has a bright flashy light to ward off bullies. Tony also says that dads leave, no need to be a pussy about it…
  
  
  
  
  
• Harley’s pretty smart and suggests retro-reflective paneling for stealth mode on the next Iron Man or War Machine armor. Tony wants the following: a laptop, digital watch, cell phone, pneumatic actuator, map of town, a spring, and a sandwich. I remember Subway running this clip a lot for their Iron Man 3 promotion
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Pepper finds out Tony’s alive after putting on the damaged helmet and drives Maya to a motel
  
  
  
  
  
• I guess “The Master” is a code-name for Trevor and not really a moniker for their leader
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony gets a limited edition Dora the Explorer watch. I guess he’s borrowing Harley’s dads old clothes his mom kept around. More on the watch...
  
  
  
  
  
• I love that in the bar, the Sheriff drinks with his weapon hanging out. We see Ellen Brandt outside the bar and she clocks Tony there. She’s scarred
  
  
• The actress who plays Mrs. Davis always plays the same character: the crying drunk. She also has her son’s file that says “MIA” in it. But Chad Davis wasn’t MIA – Missing in Action
  
  
• Brandt claims to be Homeland Security and just dominates everybody with her Extremis fighting style. The best line: she asks Tony if he’s just a cheap trick and cheesy one-liners? “Lady, that could be the title of my autobiography.” He blows up Brandt with cooking oil and metal in a microwave. She ends up dead on the power lines. Savin’s around though and threatens Harley. Tony uses a makeshift repulser on him using the spring, pneumatic actuator and parts of the suit to subdue him
  
  
• The Mandarin’s new video has him threatening a Roxxon oil executive (they’ve been a behind-the-MCU villain since Agent Carter, SHIELD and the newest Wonder Man). An accountant named Thomas Richards. Generic name, nobody knows he is missing -- one would think that would be big news, a major corporation like that. Mandarin "shoots" him, probably done with special effects and an actor
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony and Harley are connected in a great conversation. He figures out its AIM behind the whole thing, including Iron Patriot’s rebrand
  
  
• Iron Patriot goes to another part of the terrorist world looking for the Mandarin in Pakistan. Tony calls him and asks for his login and password: warmachine68 and WARMACHINEROX
  
  
• It's the Miss Chattanooga Christmas Pageant. The title is real. “Well, David” kinda sticks to your brain. Stan Lee gives Miss Elk Ridge (which doesn't seem to exist in Tennessee) a 10 and Tony runs into an excited fan. He based his whole look on Tony (like the videos at the end of Avengers) and has a Tony tattoo but based on a doll he made (that looks more like Hispanic Scott Baio)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony gets into the AIM database (although why a military contractor doing illegal stuff would put all the evidence against them on a government server in a convenient manner is beyond me) and finds out the backstory. The explosions and Mandarin videos are just covering up for Extremis mistakes
  
  
• Also, why is Ellen Brandt’s limb restored with Extremis but her facial scarring remains? Another also is that throughout the video timeline, Killian is looking better and better – proof he’s taking Extremis as well
  
  
• Maya talks to Pepper about Werner Von Braun, a Nazi scientist who made rockets during WWII. In another Cinematic Universe, Werner Von Braun is related to Emmit “Doc” Brown on Back to the Future! In another moment, Killian comes in and kidnaps Pepper and Maya is part of it. Why she said “you and the Master” were going to blow up Stark house is beyond me since Trevor had nothing to do with it and Killian's the true Mandarin. I guess for the plotline
  
  
  
  
  
• Iron Patriot ends up in a sweatshop in the Middle East looking for the Mandarin. He’s captured by another Extremis soldier, played by the actress who played Charlotte on Lost!!
  
  
  
  
  
• JARVIS is okay at first but then gets the wrong cranberry. Plus, Harley is getting a sugar rush from all the candy. Turns out the Mandarin is located in Miami, FL. Tony freaks out for a second then it’s suggested by Harley to go build something. Tony goes to a big box store and buys stuff he turns into ingenious weapons
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony attacks the Mandarin’s mansion that for some reason, has a sunken boat in its backyard. It’s a real location in South Miami (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki Vizcaya_Museum_and_Gardens). It was used as a location for a Betty Page photoshoot in the 50’s and looks to be quite the mansion
  
  
• We meet Trevor Slattery for the first time. Even though Sir Ben Kingsley seems to be a super serious actor, Trevor is not. He’s on drugs and over-the-top-British with great hilarious lines. Trevor will later appear in his own one-shot (that talks about his acting career), Shang-Chi and the Wonder Man series. Savin knocks him out after finding out about Trevor talking to Tony
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony wakes up tied to a bed. Turns out he wrote the formula to fix Extremis years ago in Bern but doesn’t remember. The whole reason he got pulled into the Mandarin campaign (besides Killian’s revenge) was to fix Extremis. The way Maya was talking about shows she and AIM were going to sell the formula to governments in order to get super-soldiers! 
  
  
• “The early bird gets the worm but the second mouse gets the cheese.” Another Killian father saying. I love Tony says “he’s still trying to figure out what happened to the first mouse. The first quote may have been by comedian Steven Wright. It’s a hodgepodge of different sayings
  
  
• Quick note: Tony seems to have created all his enemies: Stane was jealous of him, Ivan hated him because he stole his and his father’s lives, Killian was humiliated by him, he literally created Ultron and Thanos hated him for his knowledge
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Killian now has Pepper and has injected her with Extremis, a very painful procedure. He can also breathe fire, as he does in front of Rhodey. Savin has the Iron Patriot armor to do whatever he wants
  
  
• One of the guards guarding Tony is the legendary “Ponytail Express.” If you recall from Iron Man 2, the same actor portrayed a prisoner impersonating Ivan’s dead body. Maybe they’re related.  He says there are 832 miles from Tennessee to Miami. Google says roughly 712, but that’s not counting the exact towns. Tony’s Dora the Explorer watch is broken but not before the beeping tells him his armor is all charged up.
  
  
• Looks like Harley pours water on the lock in the cold air to help it to break.
  
  
• Trevor is a Liverpool Football Club fan and does their cheer as part of his actorly warmup as well as while drinking beer
  
  
• Savin, as Iron Patriot, is on Air Force One. Tony, remotely controlling Iron Man, attempts to rescue the President but he’s already been put in the Iron Patriot armor and flown to Killian. He finally kills Savin (his HUD says “Target Neutralized”) after Savin ejected the remaining living Air Force One Passengers into the sky
  
  
  
  
  
• In one of the movie’s truly original scenes, Tony must catch all the passengers mid-air but can only carry a few. He plays “Barrel of Monkeys,” having each passenger grab the limb of another. This was achieved on-screen using The Red Bull sky-diving team. The armor is then hit by a truck, staying in Miami
  
  
• Time for the House Party Protocol, which must mean JARVIS flies all the individual remaining suits to Tony, wherever he may be. The two Air Force officers who witness Iron Patriot leaving Air Force One are the original Mortal Kombat Johnny Cage and future Dr. Dre in the NWA film. Killian, in the meantime, has himself a trophy in Pepper, who now has Extremis in her veins
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• We also find out that the Vice President is in league with Killian and will do nothing to help Tony and Rhodey. His motives are known in an instant shot: his daughter is disabled in a wheelchair with one leg. No dialogue needed. That little girl was played by then-unknown Jenna Ortega
  
  
  
  
  
• The Roxxon Norco, a ship that spilled a million gallons of oil off Pensacola. Nobody went to jail thanks to Ellis. Reminds me of the Exxon Valdez. An Elephant Graveyard is a nature myth that says that dying elephants will go away from their pack to die in a secret location
  
  
• Tony summons all the remaining Iron Man armor to the shipyard, all controlled by JARVIS. It’s like a Hot Toys catalog come to life. I really like Igor, who’s a huge, Hulk-sized robot that will balance the ship on his back so it won’t flip. He’s the precursor to the Hulkbuster armor. And we never do see what happens to him at the end of the battle – he could still be out there in the hands of the Vulture or Tinkerer
  
  
  
  
  
• There’s also Red Snapper and Heartbreaker
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• My favorite, though, is the Silver Centurion. He became pretty famous in the comics
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• I noticed that the next two times Tony tries to save Pepper, he’s unable to reach her. He has no armor, it’s just him trying to save his girl
  
  
• Killian attacks Tony in the Silver Centurion and has his arm cut off. It’s a recurring theme for the bad guys in Phase 2, ala Empire Strikes Back
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Pepper apparently falls to death and Tony and Killian fight – enhanced man vs a sometimes-Iron Man armored man
  
  
• Killian has dragon tattoos, showing us that he is the TRUE MANDARIN. The Mark 42 armor returns from Miami but fails miserably. He then has the armor go onto Killian, whereby he blows up the armor
  
  
• Killian survives but not before Pepper comes out of nowhere. She’s full of Extremis and gets one Iron Man gauntlet and missile and kills Killian once and for all
  
  
  
  
  
• The Clean Slate Protocol takes effect and all remaining suits self-destruct. Which doesn’t make much sense since he has new armor in Age of Ultron to clean up HYDRA. According to his voiceover, he cures Pepper of Extremis. I personally thought it would be cool if she still had Extremis at the time of Infinity War and Endgame along with the Rescue armor; she could be like Savin in the Patriot armor
  
  
• He then has Dr. Wu remove the shrapnel from his heart and gives it to Pepper in the form of a necklace. She watches the procedure in an ugly-ass dress and China is happy. Chinese actress Fan Bingbing plays his nurse in the scene but I never saw her. She played Blink in X-Men Days of Future Past. Multiverse!!
  
  
  
  
  
• Trevor is also a celebrity for being the fake Mandalorian and goes to prison until he’s broken out by the real 10 Rings
  
  
• Happy wakes up to Downton Abbey and looks for the ID badge on his nurse. Harley gets a new garage from the Mechanic. Plus I would assume some kind of scholarship. He next appears years later at Tony's funeral. I wouldn't mind seeing him as Iron Lad eventually
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• Tony’s now driving another Audi, an e-tron hybrid to show how much he’s changed. He also has DUM-E and U in the back of a trailer. Great end-credits music showing scenes from the previous Iron Mans
  
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene: Tony’s talking to Bruce Banner like a therapist but Bruce fell asleep right in the beginning of the story. There’s a lab with a microscope in the background and you can assume Bruce is working for Banner in the Avengers Tower. Tony also mentions that he had a nanny in 1983 as a 14 year old boy. 1983 was RDJ’s first movie role in Baby It’s You. RDJ was a few years older at around 18
  
  
• “TONY STARK WILL RETURN”