Finger to the Throat means Death: Metaphor!

 Guardians of the Galaxy (Volume 1) was a complete surprise hit. The soundtrack was huge despite being 40-year old songs. At the time, I wasn’t sure why Marvel was going with the Guardians in the first place. I really only knew them from the comics I read in the 90’s. Since I was a New Warriors fan, I followed the future space team of Vance Astro (complete with Captain America’s shield), Yondu, Charlie 23 and a few more. I only knew Rocket Raccoon from a random comic I read in my barber shop as a kid. Marvel made us fall in love with a bunch of misfit losers from a forgotten title – why bother to make this movie when they can do so much more with the Avengers we have now? We’re seeing aliens, alien civilizations, technology, etc – so different from the human technology we’ve seen in Iron Man. We witnessed a little of this in Thor, but this is on a whole other level…

  Anyways, Marvel released the first teaser trailer of Guardians with the song Hooked on a Feeling by Blue Suede and people were hooked. I, along with many thousands of people, immediately downloaded the song. Directed by James Gunn, the movie was already on ITunes and the song was ready to go. I, too downloaded the song after the trailer when I found it was available. The soundtrack, known as Awesome Mix Volume 1 was old pop songs from the ‘70s and Peter Quill was an 80’s kid. The movies went on to make bank and is a perennial favorite MCU movie amongst fans.

Speaking of James Gunn, I just finished re-watching Superman for the umpteenth time. That guy knows how to write and direct a story that’s big on action, character development, music and heart. Nothing else really feels like a James Gunn movie and this was the beginning of his shot to the mainstream (with some bumps along the way).

 So we have two daughters of Thanos, a racoon with his talking tree, a psychopathic destroyer and a human (kinda). “You said it yourself, bitch. We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy.”

   

•  1988, Earth. Missouri, apparently
  
  
•  Is Peter Quill a descendant of Captain America? The same actress played both Quill’s mom and a woman making eyes at Cap during a USO event during WWII (exactly the way it was spelled out in She-Hulk)
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter’s mom is dying of brain cancer, something that Ego, Peter’s dad, put in her brain so he wouldn’t get attached to his human girlfriend
  
  
  
  
  
• He’s kidnapped by a spaceship, a Ravager ship to be exact. They’re under contract to do so by Ego. The authorities would have no idea what happened to this kid, probably thinking he ran away after witnessing his mother’s death. Ms Marvel’s Avengerscon had a Peter Quill documentary about being abducted by aliens, so he’s known to earth but not entirely correct. Up until the third movie, Peter’s grandfather probably thought he was dead after all these years
  
  
  
  
  
  
• So what’s in Peter’s backpack? This is the MCU, baby and the fans always find out! According to various sites and Google, he had his Walkman and 2 tapes (one wrapped and one probably already in the Walkman), some ALF stickers, Garbage Pail Kids cards, and allegedly a Thundercats Panthro action figure. ALF was a sitcom where a alien life form puppet lives with a human family. The Garbage Pail Kids were trading cards that featured disgusting kids (I hated these things as a kid, and I sure won't show them now). Panthro was the Thundercats’ engineer and scientist, and had cool nun-chucks
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• By the way, Peter Quill is played by Chris Pratt, who's pretty much the biggest actor on the planet at some points during his career. Point of order: he doesn't look like this anymore
  
  
   
   
  
  
• Yeah, he looks like this
  
  
  
  
  
  
• 26 years later on the planet Morag. Peter still has his Walkman, although personally knowing the quality of those 80’s devices, he’s probably had to replace most of the electronics inside it with alien tech, same with the batteries. The squishy stuff around the headphones is always the first to go, wonder how he got those replaced? He also has a larger stereo in his ship, probably built the same way: starting off with human technology, upgrading it with alien stuff (and space batteries)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• It’s probably the most fun opening credit sequence in a Marvel movie: Quill dancing and kicking space rats. In Endgame, the sequence was interrupted by War Machine knocking him out. Here's the complete soundtrack list
  
  
  
  
  
• Quill has his lock picking tools, something that Nebula knew he’d have on him during this time period. He also has grabby triangle device that will allow him not to burn the skin off his non-cyborg arm
  
  
  
  
  
• We meet Korath. The last time we saw him was in 1995 during Captain Marvel. Back then, he was a dedicated Kree Special Forces soldier. Since then, he’s devoted himself to Ronan and has become radicalized
  
  
  
  
  
• Quill calls one of the Necro-soldiers a Ninja Turtle, referring to the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles that first became popular starting in 1984, branching out into cartoons and a movie. He also refers to himself as “Star Lord,” something law enforcement and Earth documentarians constantly get wrong. We find out later in the movie it was a nickname from his mother, knowing his father was an alien Celestial. By the way, the Star Wars card was of my creation after originally seeing the Guardians movie when it first came out
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Qull escapes the bad guys back to his ship. We see a Troll Doll (the ones with the crazy hair), something his adopted father Yondu also enjoys. There are also the aforementioned ALF stickers and a few other 80’s odds and ends
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The last time Peter Quill was on Earth was during the 1980’s. Therefore, all his human knowledge and obsessions when he was a kid has followed him into adulthood. A probably messed-up one since he was kidnapped during a time of grief and taken into outer space with alien pirates. He also has the only items from Earth in his backpack, so he’s especially protective of them
  
  
• Bereet, the pink girl is wearing the same t-shirt young Peter was wearing at his kidnapping. “River Rafter JD Canoe Rental Dolores River.” The Dolores River does exist on Earth, a tributary of the Colorado River. This was more than likely from a trip he took with his mom before she became ill. It’s located in Colorado and Utah
  
  
  
  
  
• Yondu is the head of this chapter of Ravagers, cut off from the giant Ravager clan when he accepted money to kidnap Peter Quill. Played by Michael Rooker, a James Gunn favorite, he’s both terrifying and fun. He has this crazy Yaka Arrow, controlled with the techno-mohawk on his head via whistling. It reminds me of that kid from Escape to Witch Mountain with his harmonica. Yondu is Quill’s adaptive father (per Part 2: “he may have been your father (Ego), but he’s not your daddy.” Yondu taught Peter how to shoot, steal, and be a Ravager. We also find out that Peter is quite the womanizer
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• We meet Ronan the Accuser. Once again, we met him in 1995 with Captain Marvel when he was about to destroy the Earth but was stopped by Carol. We find out his father and grandfather were killed in a Kree\Xandarian war and he has a genocidal hatred for them, something he didn’t have in 1995
  
  
  
  
  
• Ronan wants Thanos to destroy Xandar for him if Ronan can get the Orb which contains an Infinity Stone (more on that later). To that end, Thanos has loaned out his two tiniest daughters, Gamora and Nebula. First Nebula: played by Karen Gillian, this was her breakout role. She was the 11th Doctor’s companion Amy Pond. For this role, she shaved her red hair (that she was best known for in Doctor Who circles) and debuted it during Comic-Con. This very act depressed me and I never wanted to see her bald head again. Technology improved where she didn’t have to shave her head, just wear a good bald cap. Either way, she’s brilliant in this role – through 5 movies she makes the audience cheer for her and see her progression in this role. Nebula is a cyborg who had a body part chopped off after losing to her sister Gamora; this would make anybody into a psychopath. Gamora is played by Zoe Saldana – she’s been in pretty much every Sci-Fi property out there including Avatar and Star Trek (as the new modern Uhura). The two sisters pretty much hate each other at this point, their rivalry fueled by their adaptive father Thanos. Gamora is tasked with retrieving the Orb from Star Lord
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• We’re now on Xandar. Stan Lee cameo. We meet Rocket and Groot, our two CGI Guardians. Rocket is a sentient Racoon that has been genetically and surgically modified to be a genius engineer, weapon expert, escape thief and psycho by The High Evolutionary. He’s bitter and sad about what’s been done to him and what’s happened to his last family (fully explained in the third Guardians). He’s voiced by A-Team Face Bradley Cooper. Groot is a tree, a Flora Colossus living tree who can control his own branches but can only say “I Am Groot.” Luckily, those closest to him understand what he's saying. Except for Thor, he took Tree language in Asgardian College. Right now, it’s just Rocket who understands him (being the only family each other have at this point in the movie). Vin Diesel from the Fast and Furious franchise is the incredible voice of Groot
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• Quill tries to sell the Orb to a brilliantly-eyebrowed alien named the Broker, but he balks once he finds out that Ronan is after that same Orb. Gamora fights Quill for the Orb but is interrupted by Rocket and Groot who want the bounty Yondu’s set for Quill with no idea about the Orb
  
  
• All 4 are captured by the Nova Corp, the police and planetary protectors of Xandar. Nova (Richie Ryder) was a great 70’s superhero in Marvel Comics and brought back in New Warriors in the 90’s. As a matter of fact, the whole Nova Corp was reinvented with new Nova heroes for the modern comics. John C. Reilly is a Nova cop with some great lines with Quill. Even more unexpected is Glenn Close as Nova Prime. Her beautiful assistant, with no lines and a little screen time, is Mikaela Hoover who recently starred in Superman as Kat Grant
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• One of the Nova Corpsmen flying the cool ship is from the TV show White Collar. Plus Gamora cuts off Groot’s arm, another missing arm trope from this second phase of the MCU (it’s not the first of the movie either), instant Empire Strikes Back
  
  
  
  
  
• They refer to Rocket as 89P13, the “name” given to him by the High Evolutionary. Rocket’s technology is copyrighted, so maybe it’s in his DNA (as the Guardians find out when he’s injured in Volume 3). There’s a whole Unusual Suspects lineup with all the Guardians to this point. Quill gives the finger in a clever way
  
  
  
  
  
• They all get sent to the Kiln, a Nova Corp prison where they’re apparently all corrupt. Quill is jacked, which is a big difference to his character in Parks & Rec. I think Chris Pratt was training for a role as a Navy SEAL at the time. His character handles his weapons as a military-trained soldier. Nathan Fillion is the voice of the Rapey Alien (not the first time he’ll be in the Guardians universe)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Just for the record, I love that Peter mispronounces “Suede.” He does this only because he’s never heard it said out loud (or if he did by his mom he forgot) and only read the word. Actually, is he pronouncing it correctly?
  
  
• Gamora is threatened with death as the daughter of Gamora and henchman of Ronan. Rocket plans their escape. We meet Drax the Destroyer. He wants to kill Ronan and has been tearing up the galaxy, killing his guys left and right. We also find out that his wife and daughter were killed by Ronan (laughing all the way) and that he takes everything you say literally. Drax is played by surprisingly great actor and former wrestler Dave Bautista
  
  
  
  
  
  
• One funny bit is that several of the aliens make the “finger across the throat” motion to Gamora, something that Drax does not understand. When Quill asks the aliens if they know what that means, the one doing the motion in the first place has no idea what it means
  
  
• Quill admits to having sex with an Oskavarian and getting injured by a Kree girl. Rocket says he needs a prisoner’s cyborg leg (something he repeats with Bucky Barnes’ arm; he really doesn’t need it) and a Quarnex battery. Isn’t that the same battery that gets him into trouble in the next movie? They also need a guard’s wrist computer, something that’s hardwired into his body
  
  
  
  
  
• Chaos starts, Groot starts fighting guards. Gamora takes the wrist device by force while Quill negotiates with his guy for his cyborg leg. They successfully escape the Kiln with Drax following along to get revenge on Ronan. The Guardians are complete
  
  
• Two 80’s things: Quill’s Ravager ship is called the Milano, named after 80’s babe Alyssa Milano (I used to play basketball with a guy who claimed he almost dated Alyssa). Quill would know her as his dream girl in 1988 from Who’s the Boss. Plus, the Internet tells me she had a combination music \ dancing \ singing video tape at the time. Like many kids of the 80’s, he doesn’t want to leave behind his mom’s mixtape or his Walkman. Everybody calls him an idiot for going back for it
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
• More 80’s references: Quill calls Rocket “Ranger Rick” which was the name of a Boy Scouts magazine for young boys that had a raccoon mascot called Ranger Rick (I was subscribed to this magazine by my family for many years despite not being a boy scout, it’s where I first learned about Tiger Woods as a teen). We see Quill has never opened his mom’s present to him. Quill also refers to his filthy ship being like a Jackson Pollock painting. Meaning under a black-light, his bodily fluids are everywhere. Pretty disgusting. Did anybody but him get that artistic reference, since Pollock was an Earthling\Terran?
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• Ronan talks with Thanos in his big floating chair and FULL ARMOR – this is something that comes into play later on in the MCU. Yondu and James Gunn’s skinny brother visit the Broker looking for Quill, makes fun of the Broker and gets the info they need to find Quill and the Orb
  
  
• We see the Collector (played by Benicio Del Toro to his ridiculous fullness). In the MCU, he’s brother to the Grandmaster played by Jeff Goldblum. Their family actually owns Knowhere. It’s a mining colony\wretched hive of crime and villainy that is the skull of a Celestial. Maybe he was related to Ego and Quill. It later becomes the home base of the Guardians after Thanos destroyed it during Infinity War. We see Oliva Lovibond again as The Collector’s slave cleaning the glass cage of a Dark Elf
  
  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• Quill mentions he comes from a planet of outlaws (with a weird Southern accent) “Billy The Kid, Bonnie and Clyde and John Stamos.” Billy the Kid was an Old West gunslinger with 21 alleged kills in the 1880’s, Bonnie and Clyde were Depression-era Bank Robbers and killers, and John Stamos is an actor, best known for being in the 80’s sitcom Full House and performing with Jesse and the Rippers and the Beach Boys. Perhaps considered an outlaw by some...
  
  
  

  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
• Rocket, Groot and Drax get drunk watching space rats fight while Gamora and Peter flirt while listening to his Walkman. At this point, Gamora is not a dancer. She will not be fooled by his “Pelvic Sorcery!” Quill discusses the movie Footloose starring Kevin Bacon. He will continue to extol the virtues of this movie to Tony Stark and Peter Parker years later. He likes it a lot. Footloose came out in 1984 and must have had a big impact on young Peter Quill. Seeing as how he saw it years before he was even kidnapped, it maybe isn’t the same as he remembers. The movie’s synopsis: “Moving in from Chicago, newcomer Ren McCormack (Kevin Bacon) is in shock when he discovers the small Midwestern town he now calls home has made dancing and rock music illegal. As he struggles to fit in, Ren faces an uphill battle to change things. With the help of his new friend, Willard Hewitt (Christopher Penn), and defiant teen Ariel Moore (Lori Singer), he might loosen up this conservative town. But Ariel's influential father, Reverend Shaw Moore (John Lithgow), stands in the way
  
  
• I’d have to watch the movie Footloose again, but I don’t seem to remember any dance off. But the Guardians only hear of the movie through Quill and his foggy interpretation of the dance off to save the universe. Spider-Man and Tony Stark seem perplexed by his stance about the movie. Kevin Bacon actually shows up in the Guardians universe during their Christmas special
  
  
  
  
  
• When drunk, Rocket gets very upset and angry at Drax for all the names he calls him, saying “he never asked to be made,” and calling himself a monster. Even more drunk, Drax places a phone call to Ronan and tells him to come to Knowhere
  
  
• The Collector is Gamora’s buyer of the Orb. We see Cosmo the psychic dog and a Chitauri among his collection. He offers to buy the corpse of Groot upon Groot’s death. Since they’re both essentially immortal, the Collector doesn’t mind waiting. The Collector explains Infinity Stones to our group – the MCU has already been exposed to the Tesseract, the Aether and the Mind Stone through Loki’s staff. This was something James Gunn came up with on the fly and it became the basis for the entire first half of the MCU. The Infinity Stones were used by Celestials and other “Gods” like Asgardians to rule and destroy planets. This is why Quill was able to survive a Stone despite being half Celestial
  
  
  
  
  
• Olivia the slave girl grabs the Infinity Stone and destroys herself and the Collector’s building – big explosion!! Gamora wants to give the Orb over to the Nova Corp but Quill and the rest still want to sell it
  
  
• Ronan arrives. Drunk Drax fights Ronan but thoroughly gets his ass kicked. He’s no match for Ronan, without or without an Infinity Stone, drunk or not. The rest of the Guardians take to these funky indestructible mining pods and fight Ronan’s troops. Gamora is blasted into space and Quill saves her, despite almost dying himself.
  
  
• Ronan now has the Infinity Stone and decides to put it in his hammer (which I believe is the instrument of his former office as Accuser), defying Thanos. Now Ronan will destroy Xandar, his holy mission all along. Nebula and Korath go along for the ride
  
  
• Quill and Gamora make a deal with Yondu and the Ravagers to save Xandar in return for the Infinity Stone. Drax and Rocket nearly blow up the Ravagers’ ship (with Quill and Gamora still on board) with a Rocket-invented Hadron Enforcer weapon. So on Earth, the Hadron Collider in Switzerland is a powerful particle accelerator, effectively recreating the Big Bang. Since Rocket’s gun will cause maximum damage to someone, I’m assuming this is where the name comes from, maybe it's a universal translator thing
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The Guardians are now a team, with the Ravagers backing them up. They agree to save Xandar from Ronan. Quill has 12% of a plan until the rest of the Guardians put their heads together. Quill sends a message to John C. Reilly about not being 100% a dick and Xandar is warned that a super powerful Ronan with an Infinity Stone is coming to literally destroy their planet. Yondu agrees to the plan as long as he gets the Stone in order to sell it (to whom I wonder?)
  
  
• The battle begins
  
  
• Yondu works with the Guardians to protect Xandar, with pirates helping Xandarians instead of robbing them; it’s quite a sight to see. Gamora remarks that they’re “just like Kevin Bacon”
  
  
  
  
  
• Pretty early on, Yondu is shot down but successfully lands his ship in the green pastures of Xandar. We finally see his Yakka arrow take down half a dozen Necrotroops and their ships just with Yondu whistling
  
  
• The Nova Corp has a cool trick with their ships – they can interlock and form a kind of interplanetary shield with lasers. The Dark Aster unfortunately is way too powerful for this trick and stretch it until the Nova Corp ships are destroyed
  
  
• Groot also has a cool trick, he can command his body’s branches to have this bioluminescent glow and light up the ship. Then it’s Gamora vs Nebula. Nebula is humorously able to repair herself after being shot with a bazooka by Drax – her whole body slaps back into shape, including her face. But then you think about what Thanos did to her to make her able to bounce back like that and how painful that must have been
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• The Necrotroopers go Kamikaze on Xandar, but are stopped by the Ravagers’ ships. You also see two pink people, a mom and little girl, getting saved by Rocket. You don’t know it yet, but that’s John C. Reilly’s wife and daughter
  
  
• The Guardians go up against a whole platoon of Necrosoldiers, led by Kronan. Kronan calls Quill by his own self-annointed nickname of Star Lord and Quill is way too happy about this. Drax kills Kronan by ripping the electronics right off his head and proclaiming “finger to the throat means death: metaphor!”
  
  
• Ronan goes on his religious diatribe about wanting to destroy Xandar personally with the Infinity Stone and kills a lot of good guys
  
  
• There are two highlights to the Gamora \ Nebula fight: first is that you can see Gamora’s skeleton while being electrocuted just like Darth Vader. The second is that Nebula cuts off her own cyborg hand to get away (another Empire reference)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Rocket crashes his ship into the Dark Astor, making it plummet to Xandar. Luckily, the city has been evacuated (except for the idiots sticking around the crash site). In perhaps one of the movie’s most moving scene, Groot puts a tree shield made from his own body (and most of it from the look of things) to protect his new family around the Guardians and uncharacteristically says “WE ARE GROOT”
  
  
• The ship crashes into the center of the city and the Guardians are protected from the crash except Groot is killed. Ronan is still alive thanks to the Infinity Stone. There are branches and ship debris everywhere and you can hear Quill’s music
  
  
• Ronan starts monologuing when Quill starts dancing and singing “Ooh Child” and proclaims a “Dance-off, bro!” This is just a distraction so Rocket can shoot Ronan’s hammer with his Hadron weapon. The only dance-off that I'm aware of took place in the Umbrella Academy
  
  

  @theflixguy Guardians of the Galaxy - Dance Off 🕺 💃 #movieclips🎬🍿 Nothing can stand between Peter Quill and a good old fashioned dance off! #movietok #filmtok #marvel #mcu #chrispratt #leepace #danceoff ♬ original sound - theflixguy - TheFlixGuy

  
  
• The Stone flies out of the hammer, there’s purple and black smoke everywhere. Quill makes a move to grab the flying stone before Ronan does and succeeds. Gamora yells at him, knowing what happened to Olivia Lovibond at the Collector’s place. Quill grabs the Stone and SURVIVES
  
  
• Years later we know why: Quill is half celestial (and maybe the great-grandson of Captain America) and therefore not really mortal. He sees his mother dying in the aftermath. The rest of the Guardians take each other’s hands to distribute the awesome power amongst themselves. Still hurts though
  
  
  
  
  
• While Ronan deems this impossible, Quill says “Said it yourself, bitch. We’re the Guardians of the Galaxy.” The Guardians destroy Ronan when he comes at them, saving Xandar
  
  
• That’s when Yondu and his armed Ravagers come after the Guardians. Yondu makes Quill hand over the Orb – luckily it’s the wrong Orb and the Guardians hand the real thing over to Nova Prime
  
  
  
  
  
• Rocket cries and is comforted by Drax (it’s a sweet scene after all that action and betrayal). Rocket does find a Groot tree branch that appears to be still alive and put into a pot to grow
  
  
• The Nova Corp informs Quill that he’s isn’t entirely human (or Terran as they call it). Nova Prime has another babe assistant (model Stacey Hanant) and the Guardians get pardoned for all their crimes (provided they don’t do any new ones, something they have a hard time justifying). They also rebuilt the Milano, complete with Quill’s mom birthday present. It’s Awesome Mix Volume 2. The note attached calls Quill her “Star-Lord,” something he’s probably heard before from her but now the audience knows where he got the name from – it’s a tribute to his mom
  
  
  
  
  
• Quill replaced the Infinity Stone with a Troll in the Orb, something Yondu finds out when he opens it while his pirates are drunk and partying (he had to have an idea or wouldn’t have endangered his men or ship). He laughs and you know he loves Quill more than he lets on – anybody else he would have gone after with a vengeance
  
  
• Groot is alive, but it’s not the same Groot that we’ve been watching for the past two hours. It’s kind of like his son or descendant. It’s Baby Groot (a boon to Disney and their marketing department; at least until Grogu showed up)
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #1: Baby Groot in his pot dances to the Jackson Five while Drax sharpens his knife. We establish in the next movie that Drax is not a dancer. Every time Drax looks over the Baby Groot, Groot freezes until Drax looks away. It’s another fun, cute scene
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #2: The Collector, still alive, is in the decimated ruins of his Collection and is drinking some green leafy stuff. Cosmo the Dog licks his face. Howard the Duck, similarly drinking in his broken glass cage, proclaims it disgusting. Howard is voiced by awesome actor and Robot Chicken geek Seth Green. He does fight in the final battle in Endgame and is in lots in What If episodes