I have been falling for 30 minutes!

Recently, somebody told me that Thor: Ragnarok was the best and worst thing to ever happen to Thor (yeah Kate, talking to you). The more I think about it, this is absolutely correct. In the MCU, Thor started off as a Shakespearean-type character with an evil brother and domineering father, which makes sense since it was directed by Kenneth Branagh. Thor: The Dark World was not well received but contributed quite a bit to the mythology of MCU Thor. Then, Thor met Tony Stark, so to speak. Whenever he was funny, it was mostly because he was making fun of his serious nature. Thor in Thor: Ragnarok was taken over by a new kind of director, Taika Waititi from Australia. It’s the same place that actor Chris Hemsworth is from; the two get along. If you ever watched What We Do In The Shadows, you know that Waititi is a comedic director and that this was going to be a different type of Thor movie. The second Thor opens his mouth in Ragnarok, he’s completely different from any Thor we’ve ever seen – he’s funny and sarcastic! Hemsworth himself is a damn funny guy if you’ve ever seen his roles in Ghostbusters and Jay and Silent Bob Reboot. 

When he gets back to a different director, like the Russo Brothers, much of his sarcasm has been blunted by his recent life experiences – he lost his father, brother, friends and the whole planet. While he regained his bad-assness in Infinity War, he became a fat comic relief in Endgame. Ragnarok was Thor’s most popular movie ever and people expected him to always be Taika-Waititi-funny. When the two tried doing it a second time with Love & Thunder, it didn't quite go to plan. The tone of all the movies are going to be different. I do hope the Russo Brothers in Doomsday give a good balance. 

This movie is good and funny. The director shines as a new character, Korg. There’s also the Hulk and Valkyrie. Jeff Goldblum is literally at his most Jeff-Goldblum-iest. The music, feel and visuals are all from an 80’s fantasy movie! One thing you have to notice is that the term Ragnarok is the same as Doomsday! Does this mean anything?

• Thor’s in a cage with a skeleton, carrying on a monologue conversation that makes you immediately know this is no ordinary Thor movie. He skims over his Infinity Stone journey and talks about a prophetic dream he has about Asgard getting destroyed, AKA Ragnarok. Thor is wearing his non-royal "travel" armor
  
  
  
  
  
• The cage’s bottom drops out and Thor, attached to a long chain, falls. The demon creature he’s talking to is Surtur. “Son of a…bitch! You’re still alive!” gets a huge laugh every time. I know Clancy Brown has been doing voice work and various acting roles for years, but I still see him as the Kurgan from Highlander. His voice work here is pitch perfect for an Asgardian demon. Surtur talks about his role in Ragnarok, that he will plunge his fiery sword into the heart of Asgard itself and mentions Thor has a role in all that. He also says that Odin is no longer on Asgard. Thor knows the 9 Realms are in chaos with Odin doing nothing. There’s a super funny bit about Thor rotating around in mid-air until he faces Sutur again. Chris Hemsworth is really able to show off his comedic side. Surtur is waiting for Ragnarok, he just needs his crown put in the Eternal Flame in Odin’s Vault (which predicates on being defeated by Thor and essentially beheaded)
  
  
  
  
  
• Cue Mjölnir, Thor’s hammer. Also cue Led Zeppelin's Immigrant Song, which talks about Valhalla and the hammer of the gods:

Ah-ah, ah!

Ah-ah, ah!

We come from the land of the ice and snow

From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

The hammer of the gods

Will drive our ships to new lands

To fight the horde, sing and cry

Valhalla, I am coming

On we sweep with threshing oar

Our only goal will be the western shore

Ah-ah, ah!

Ah-ah, ah!

We come from the land of the ice and snow

From the midnight sun where the hot springs flow

How soft your fields so green

Can whisper tales of gore

Of how we calmed the tides of war

We are your overlords

On we sweep with threshing oar

Our only goal will be the western shore

So now you'd better stop and rebuild all your ruins

For peace and trust can win the day despite of all your losing

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ahh, ah

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

Ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh, ooh-ooh

• Thor takes out Sutur’s minions with both the hammer and his fists. He is peak Thor, never better with his hammer, strength or Thor-ness. We get a look at Surtur off the throne – he is not looking good. He’s got a lame arm and is skinny. Maybe his earlier battle with Odin did serious damage? Thor is able to take Surtur’s crown (which is attached to his head) off and the fire goes out. He straps the skull to his back and continues to fight
  
  
• Once the dragon comes out, it’s a little too many minions for Thor to fight and he calls for Heimdall to open the Bifrost and rescue him. Nothing
  
  
• Heimdall isn’t there anymore. It’s Skurge! Played by the chameleon-like Karl Urban. He is trying to impress 2 Asgardian babes. “Behold! My stuff!” He has 2 M-16 Assault Rifles that he got from Texas (or Tex-ass, as he puts it -- read this article). They’re named DES and TROY (put 'em together, and they DESTROY). Some of Skurge’s stuff also includes a Shake Weight, fresh from Taiki Watiti’s acting role in Green Lantern (the original with Ryan Reynolds). There’s also a green scooter and lots of weapons
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Skurge hears Thor’s call for help and opens the Bifrost, right on the dragon’s head. In a rush of gore, Thor comes flying into Asgard and the babes get face-fulls of brain. Skurge reminds Thor they fought together at Vanaheim (in the last Thor movie) and that Heimdall is a fugitive on the run after disobeying Odin
  
  
• We know from Dark World that Loki has been masquerading as Odin. Thor is able to put these pieces together after observing the craziness of the 9 Realms that Loki is disguised as Odin
  
  
  
  
  
  
• After ignoring Skurge, Thor flies to find his father\brother. He finds Odin lounging, eating grapes and watching a play. Loki has exactly what Tony Stark predicted Loki would want: a big statue, laurels, etc. It’s a play based on the events of the first 2 Thor movies, The Tale of Loki of Asgard. There goes Loki again, messing up his confusing heritage
  
  
• The whole “Lady Sif, get help!” and she goes running for help is pretty funny, especially when it’s somewhat brought up in another bit. I really like Jamie Alexander as Sif, she was great in Agents of SHIELD and the Thor movies, I kinda think she was done wrong in this movie. At least she didn’t die with the rest of the Warriors Three (spoilers)
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Holy crap, it’s Matt Damon as Loki! As I said before in a previous post, Matt Damon played Loki, the Angel of Death in Kevin Smith’s Dogma. Now he’s playing a different Loki, in front of the real Loki playing Odin
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
• Playing the actor Thor is another Hemsworth brother, Luke. And playing Odin himself (next to a guy playing Odin) is Jurassic Park actor Sam Neill (RIP). And a weird little blue-painted boy
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• By pain of hammer-y death, Thor gets Loki to drop the illusion and reveal who he really is. Thor wants him to show him where Odin is on Earth!
  
  
• After Dark World, Loki bound Odin up in a spell and dropped him off on Earth in a retirement home in New York City. The two brothers find the home getting bulldozed and now have no idea where Odin could be. Thor and Loki are both dressed in civilian garb. Thor has on a hoodie and carries Mjölnir disguised as an umbrella. Loki is all in black (sure to make MCU fangirls fangirl)
  
  
• There are two super-cute girls who ask for a selfie with Thor and one says she’s sorry Jane dumped him – this is actually Chris Hemsworth’s second cousin. Proof that the Avengers are the epicenter of gossip in this world. And the whole Jane thing gets brought up in both Endgame and Love & Thunder
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Suddenly Loki falls into a Dr. Strange portal in the middle of NY! There’s a business card in his place and I love it that Thor pokes it with his umbrella, thinking Loki transformed into a card
  
  
• He goes to 177A Bleeker Street in Greenwich Village, home of Dr. Strange. This is the full scene first shown in the Dr. Strange post-credits. Strange uses magic to disorient Thor, probably to show him who’s boss. Eventually he lets Loki go (falling for 30 minutes!) and uses Thor’s hair (the first mention of his hair in the movie) to open a portal to where Odin is. Strange must have talked to Odin in New York at some point if he knew what Odin’s wishes were regarding his exile
  
  
• The original scene with Odin was originally on a New York street corner, with Odin dressed as a homeless person. The director reworked the whole scene, I think it flows a lot better and makes more sense to the storyline. They’re in the same place the future New Asgard will be in Endgame. Odin is dying and was waiting for his sons to find him. He mentions them both as his sons, something that meant a lot to Loki. He also mentions they have a sister, Hela, who is going to try to kill them and take over the universe. Odin dies and Hela is released
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
  
• Hela is played by Cate Blanchett, resplendent in a green goth girl look, with straight black hair and strategically ripped costume. Like Loki in the past, Hela commands the two brothers to kneel before her. She turns her hair into a multi-pronged helmet and prepares for battle. Thor throws Mjölnir at her…and she catches it!
  
  
  
  
  
• I don’t think Hela was worthy to hold the hammer. It’s been shown in subsequent movies that Mjölnir is sentient. She used the hammer for centuries before Thor and it probably recognized her, maybe not sure why it was being used against a former owner. She’s able to use her own magic and personal bond with the hammer to prevent it from hitting her. I doubt Jane was worthy either but it did what Thor told it to do and bonded with her at the right time. She explodes Mjölnir in a shock to everybody in the theater! The shards of the hammer fall to the ground, where nobody could pick them up. The New Asgardians simply built their tourist attraction around the shards
  
  
  
  
  
• I always thought it was funny that Hela and Loki are like the two emo-goth kids of the royal family, even though not blood-related and Thor is the jock middle brother. The color schemes of both Hela and Loki are even the same
  
  
  
  
  
• In a moment of panic, Loki has Skurge open up the Bifrost for them but Hela catches a ride back to Asgard. She throws the brothers out of the Einstein-Rosen Bridge at different points in the journey and she arrives at Asgard alone. Fandral and Volstag have taken over the Bifrost chamber and Skurge is mopping up dragon brains
  
  
• Hela just decimates two of the Warriors Three, killing them instantly. She takes Skurge under her employment and walk to the palace
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor emerges on a junkyard planet with portals everywhere. He is immediately challenged by a scavenger gang who deem him “food” and they fight. This is the first time Thor is without Mjölnir and he has to adapt. His cape is ripped, which is a vestment of his station – no more prince of Asgard! Thor gets an electric net thrown on him (for a God of Thunder he gets taken out a lot by electricity) and is taken down by the Scavengers
  
  
• Then a spacecraft comes crashing down next to them and an incredibly drunk woman gets out of it, walking rather sexily but with a dangerous purpose. She claims Thor as hers and falls into garbage. The Scavengers ignore but she ends up shooting them with a remote-controlled minigun
  
  
  
  
  
• She throws an “obedience disc” at Thor’s neck and tasers him into unconsciousness. We find out her “name” on Sakaar is Scrapper 142 and she has a gift for the Grandmaster
  
  
• Thor tells her who he is and why he must get back to Asgard. She ignores this and shocks him again. This is when she actively ignores her heritage and duty (more on that later)
  
  
• One of the Gladiators immortalized on the side of the tower is Beta Ray Bill, an alien who wielded Mjölnir. Haven’t seen him yet
  
  
  
  
  
• Hela is now up against the entire combined might of the army of Asgard, commanded by Hogun, the last Warrior Three! Hela quickly takes the whole army out (wondering why she needs an army in the first place) and kills Hogun as well. In the meantime, Heimdall steals his Bifrost sword so Hela can’t access the Bifrost, temporarily curbing her conquering nature
  
  
• Thor is now in a chair, hurdling through the cosmos, Waititi borrows from Willie Wonka for Thor’s chair ride – Pure Imagination but in a nightmare setting. Cute voiceover though
  
  
  
  
  
• Yes, it’s Jeff Goldblum (and to use the phrase again, at his Jeff-Goldblum-iest!) He plays the Grandmaster, ruler of Sakaar and creator of the Contest of Champions, AKA Gladiator matches! In the MCU, the Grandmaster is the brother of the Collector (Benicio Del Toro) from Guardians of the Galaxy!. His chief bodyguard, assistant, military commander is Topaz, played by a Taika Waititi favorite New Zealander Rachel House
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• One thing I noticed is that Skurge, who is Hela’s assistant, should be The Grandmaster’s assistant instead of Topaz. And that Topaz should be Hela’s assistant instead. Topaz is a bit more bloodthirsty than Skurge could be, and that’s what Hela requires. Skurge would be perfect in a more menacing, less death role like Grandmaster’s assistant
  
  
• Thor is now the Lord of Thunder or Sparkles, as Grandmaster calls him. Scrapper 142 also brought Grandmaster his newest and favorite Gladiator champion and he pays her 10 million units for Thor. Topaz HATES Scrapper 142 with a passion. Grandmaster makes music with a keyboard (Jeff Goldblum is a musician after all). Topaz tells GM that they captured his “cousin” who is similarly strapped to a chair like Thor. GM then touches a long stick with a ball to his cousin and literally melts the poor guy – its smells like burnt toast
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• But guess who else is there? It’s Loki!! Thanks to the weird way time progresses on Sakaar, Loki arrived weeks earlier (even though they both disappeared at the same time). Loki has embedded himself within GM’s court. He gives the same “adopted” line that Thor did in Avengers. Thor is told that if he defeats the GM’s champion, he can go free. Thor is now eager to fight but cannot break free of the chair
  
  
• Thor is put into a “freaky circle” jail cell with the other gladiators, including Korg and Mieke. Korg is a Kronen, the same rock creature alien that Thor destroys in the beginning of Dark World. Meike is some kind of insect in battle armor with blades instead of hands, always eager to fight. Taiki saved the best lines for his character of Korg. His entire opening interaction with Thor is made ten times better with his accent - so gentle for a giant rock creature. He makes a rock\paper\scissor joke with his pamphlets. Another laugh is Korg compares Thor to “Doug,” a dead gladiator. Thor is “New Doug”
  
  
  
  
  
• Both Hela and Loki use magic that is green, the same color as Doctor Doom in Doomsday! Hela destroys the ceiling of the palace, destroying the sanitized history that Odin would tell. Odin seems to pave over the less lustrous parts of his history (like the whole conquering thing) and just builds the new on top of the old. There’s an old portrait of Hela carrying Hela dismisses a giant Infinity Gauntlet as fake, likes the Tesseract and hones in on the Eternal Flame (something that Sutur needs for Ragnarok). Hela then mashes a hole in Odin’s vault to get to the good stuff: her fallen soldiers and her giant wolf, Fenris. Hela essentially turns her dead soldiers into zombies, animated by her green flame and magic. In Norse Mythology, he’s called Fenrir and is another beast necessary for Ragnarok to happen
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• While in his jail cell, Thor prays to Odin, 13th Warrior style (PS: This is such a great underrated movie, I though the guy playing Beowulf should be an older Thor:
  
  
  
  
  
  

“Lo, there do I see my father.
Lo, there do I see my mother,
and my sisters, and my brothers.
Lo, there do I see the line of my people,
Back to the beginning!

Lo, they do call to me.
They bid me take my place among them,
In the halls of Valhalla!
Where the brave may live forever!”

• Loki appears as an illusion and tries to reason with Thor. After all, Loki has been in the same position Thor is in all his life: lied to by the people he loved and had everything stripped from him. Thor throws rocks at the Loki illusion until Loki gives up and disappears. That’s when Korg comes out with “piss of, ghost! He’s gone, man”
  
  
  
  
  
• The Gladiator Pits! Korg and Thor talk about his hammer and the effect it has on him
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor talks to Scrapper 142 (after Korg revealed she was Asgardian like him) and realizes by her tattoo she is a Valkyrie, the legendary female warriors. In real life, a lot of women have gotten that tattoo! Thor’s all about girl power. We’ll call her Valkyrie from now on. I love Tessa Thompson, she’s been playing great characters for years and never ages! She just wants to get drunk and not be Asgardian. She’s an excellent drinker. This version of Valkyrie looks completely different than the comic book version of her. Think more Norse. By the way, the bartender robot looks like a Celestial
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor then gets his hair cut by Stan Lee. I wonder if Stan Lee’s barber character is the same one from Guardians of the Galaxy? If I recall, they’re both wearing funny eyeglasses. Thor has since grown his hair out but has a short haircut in Doomsday. Wonder why?
  
  
• Thor enters the arena, finally putting on a helmet to fight. No hammer, just swords and shield
  
  
  
  
  
• Grandmaster’s champion is…..THE INCREDIBLE HULK!!!!! Yes, the last time we saw Hulk was in Age of Ultron where he was flying off in a stealth Quinjet. Fury and Natasha thought perhaps he went to Fiji, but he was captured in space by Valkyrie and sold to Grandmaster
  
  
  
  
  
• Hulk was hated on Earth, now on Sakaar, people chant his name and love him. I feel bad for the art interns who had to make dozens of paper-mache Hulk masks. Valkyrie watches from her ship
  
  
  
  
  
  
• “He’s a friend from work” is a line that everybody knows, it was made up by a Make-A-Wish kid. Thor continues to call Hulk “Banner,” something he hates. Loki looks nervous and tries to flee but is stopped by the Grandmaster. Thor tries the whole “sun’s getting real low big guy” but that only works with Natasha. The two fight, exchanging blows and the crowd goes wild
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• At one point in the fight, Hulk grabs Thor and like a rag doll, smashes him into the ground. Same thing he did to Loki in Avengers Tower. Loki is very happy. During one of the beat-downs, Thor has a vision of Odin standing in the Norway field and his electricity comes to him. Without his hammer. He uses it to almost win the fight but then the Grandmaster cheats. He uses his own button and tasers Thor. Hulk beats the crap out of Thor. Fade to black
  
  
  
  
  
• Back on Asgard, there is a resistance building against Hela. She sends her zombie troops to take care of the problem. She talks to Skurge, asking him what he wants. Skurge only wants to prove himself. Hela proclaims Skurge her executioner (his title in the comics) as she was to Odin. She gives him an axe made from her own body and tells him they’re ready to conquer the universe. Except there’s no Bifrost sword. Heimdall has been leading refugees into his hidden mountain fortress to hide from Hela. It’s a no-helmeted Sir Idris Elba with the long dreads and yellow eyes
  
  
• The hidden mountain fortress looks just like the entrance to the Mines of Moria in Lord of the Rings and is opened not by a phrase but by a secret code in the rocks
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor is being bathed by a bevy of Sakaar beauties (including his wife in real life) and shows the audience how cut Chris Hemsworth really is. He’s in the Hulk’s chambers. I like Hulk’s bed. It makes another appearance in Deadpool & Wolverine. Hulk’s in a hot tub. Thor finds out where the Quinjet that brought Hulk to Sakaar is, at the expense of seeing a fully naked Hulk (thankfully, we only see his green ass). Thor is still under the control of the Obedience Disk and gets shocked when he tries to leave
  
  
  
  
  
  
• After Hulk leaves, Thor concentrates and contacts Heimdall. Suddenly, Thor has Heimdall’s eyes and sees what has happened to Asgard in his absence
  
  
• Hulk is back from training and is wearing a heavy rock bead necklace. Are the rock beads like a Hawaiian Lei? Draped around their champion? Hulk and Valkyrie share a bond, he calls her “angry girl” and they play-fight. Thor and Hulk have a manly conversation about friendship and asks him to get Valkyrie to see him. By the way, Hulk doesn’t want to leave Sakaar, he’s loved there
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor and Valkyrie meet in Hulk’s chambers but Valkyrie’s not interested in what he has to say. Thor appeals to her “patriotism” in Asgard, to the throne and its people’s suffering. Valkyrie shows she can put down booze but has her “Obedience Disc” control pick-pocketed from her by Thor. He breaks out of Hulk’s chambers once the disc is removed. Valkyrie doesn’t stop him
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor gets down to the street level and finds the Quinjet in a junkyard. He’s able to power up the ship via voice command, his password being Point Break. Meanwhile, Hulk doesn’t want Thor to leave and accidentally tears into the ship. At this moment, the last message the Quinjet received comes through: it’s Natasha Romanoff’s plea for Hulk to de-cloak the ship so they can find him. It’s too much for Hulk to see her face and voice and he turns back into Banner
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
• Banner is freaking out after learning he was captured and turned into a gladiator on an alien planet. He’s most shocked that it’s been over 2 years since Ultron and Sokovia and that Hulk has been in total control of their body for all that time. Since Banner’s effectively naked, Thor finds some of Tony Stark’s old clothes conveniently left in the Quinjet and puts him in them, a great disguise! It’s a t-shirt of the Duran Duran album Rio, painted by Patrick Nagel
  
  
  
  
  
• There’s a great shot of a reflection of Valkyrie and Loki walking and the image flips upside down. Grandmaster wants the Lord of Thunder found, especially since he’s seduced his great champion into leaving too. GM has a habit of getting on city-wide hologram and talking directly to his people. Loki and Valkyrie fight and Loki also recognizes her Valkyrie tattoo. He then uses his magic to get into her head and see memories of fighting Hela. Her fellow Valkyries were ordered by Odin to kill Hela when she first began. Hela killed Val's girlfriend in front of her. She knocks Loki out but she remembers who she really is
  
  
• Mark Ruffalo as Banner allows the actor to really lean into what he loves: a slapstick comedic role. He’s concerned that if he ever turns back into the Hulk, Banner will never emerge again. Also, Tony’s pants are too tight
  
  
• Bruce Banner has 7 PhD’s, more than Hulk. Banner suggests they go into the crowd in disguise as “Tony and the Gypsy,” even though it’s completely not necessary. There's a great moment when Bruce goes partial Hulk after a bit of green is in his hair. After temporarily losing Banner in the crowd (that are full of Hulk fans), they meet up with Valkyrie who wants in on the plan to kill Hela and free Asgard. But first, they need to leave Sakaar
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• Valkyrie has a peace offering back at her apartment: Loki, tied up. Banner is freaked out upon seeing him, his eyes wide and adjusting his crotch. “Hello Bruce.” Banner is still convinced Loki is crazy and out to kill them all, based on their New York adventure. Valkyrie and Bruce are convinced they know each other and have a flirty bond. She doesn’t know that he’s the Hulk and he doesn’t know where these feelings are coming from since it was Hulk she bonded with
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor names his team “The Revengers” 
  
  
  
  
  
• We find out they need a ship to escape to go through a giant wormhole (a collapsing neutron star with an Einstein-Rosen Bridge) called “The Devil’s Anus.” Loki wants to join in because he’s run out of favor with the Grandmaster and has stolen his garage access codes. They need each other. Valkyrie has her old Valkyrie sword, a Dragonfang (she's slowly becoming a Valkyrie again, completed when she gets her uniform back). Thor is impressed. I love how much Bruce is into Thor’s story about Loki being a snake and stabbing him! Before they leave, they must start a Revolution
  

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• Valkyrie breaks Korg and Miek and the rest of the gladiators out of their cells. We also find out that Miek is laying eggs everywhere. Korg gets a gun and the Revolution has begun. You do have to remember that Korg must have been a decent fighter to actually survive for however long he was in the arena, so he can fight!
  
  
  
  
  
• Grandmaster and Topaz talk about the Revolution, that the “prisoners with jobs” have armed themselves
  
  
• Thor and Loki, armed with laser rifles for the first time in the franchise, shoot their way into the Grandmaster’s garage
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor suggests they do a childhood bit of “Get Help.” Great for Thor but humiliating for Loki. Essentially, Loki pretends to be injured and Thor literally throws him at their enemies
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• Never changing, Loki tries to betray Thor by cashing in on the bounty on Thor’s head. In his evil and callousness, Loki has become predictable. Thor, finally changing and learning, is one step ahead and tasers Loki and leaves him there. He tells Loki he could be so much more than the God of Mischief. Loki’s variant fulfills Thor’s hope and becomes the God of Stories in Loki and Doomsday
  
  
  
  
  
• They need a ship. All of the ships are named after Australian cars from the now-closed Holden car company. The Grandmaster’s Party Ship is called the Commodore. It’s a leisure ship (I love the way Tessa’s fake accent chews that word) for Grandmaster’s parties and orgies. Don’t touch anything
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor takes off in the Commodore and other Sakaarian ships shoot after him, Banner onboard
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Topaz is all too happy to kill Valkyrie but only succeeds in destroying her ship. Thor and Valkyrie leap from ship to ship, ripping them apart with Asgardian strength. Banner learns to fly an alien spaceship with no PhD
  
  
• What really pisses me off about the soundtrack is that the It’s My Birthday line from Goldbloom isn’t actually in the track – I had to rip mine from Youtube! Topaz is killed by running into a statue after being surprised by the fireworks
  
  
  
  
• Loki, still twitching from an active Obedience Disc, is found by Korg and the rest. He recognizes they need a leader and he volunteers himself. There's also a guy with three heads: one is of Taika Waititi, the other is Hemsworth himself and the last is a visual effects guy. They take off in the giant ship The Statesman. Thor, Banner and Valkyrie pilot their stolen Commodore into The Devil’s Anus and go through the wormhole back to Asgard. It’s a painful journey and they all pass out
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Hela and Skurge have what’s left of the Asgardian people in the town square, ready to execute somebody innocent to find out where the Bifrost sword is. Skurge is obviously reluctant to do so but Hela is all for it. Just when he’s about to strike, somebody from the crowd tells them where it is. Hela is now coming for the refugees in the mountains
  
  
• Thor fits the Commodore with a large gun and Valkyrie uses it as phallic as possible. She calls him “Your Majesty” for the first time. He gives her an old Valkyrie uniform and she and Banner take off
  
  
• Thor makes his way to the empty throne room to draw attention from the refugees and Heimdall (formerly of his father’s but will never be Thor’s, not that he wanted it) and sees the damage Hela caused. He sees a portrait of himself amongst the rubble. The portrait ironically looks more like Eomer (Karl Urban) from Lord of the Rings than Chris Hemsworth’s Thor
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor summons Hela to the throne room with a pounding of Odin’s spear. They talk for a few seconds then get to fighting!
  
  
• Heimdall and the refugees are on the Bifrost Bridge, almost ready to escape Asgard. They are blocked by Skurge, zombie troopers and Fenris. They all begin to fight. One of the Asgardians fighting against the undead army is one of Skurge’s babes from the beginning of the movie
  
  
• Banner and Valkyrie can’t kill Fenris with conventional weapons, so Banner makes a decision. He hilariously jumps from the ship onto the bridge but is knocked senseless. Then, Fenris’ tail is grabbed by The Hulk! Valkyrie sees this and it all makes sense
  
  
• One more thought about Fenris the giant Wolf. Banner is wearing a Rio shirt by Duran Duran. And on that very album is the song Hungry Like the Wolf
  
  
  
  
  
• Korg and the escaped Gladiators join the fight with the refugees and try to get them onboard their giant ship. Loki, doing the right thing, has flown the ship through the Anus to Asgard as well. He yells down to his former subjects “Your savior is here!” and joins the fight (it's the same pose as his statue). Valkyrie crashes her ship and sexily saunters out of the wreckage to fight, fireworks going off
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor’s fight with Hela is not going very well, she pretty much decimates him. She uses her weapon to destroy one of his eyes. Now he looks like Odin. In Mythology, Odin lost his eye to gain wisdom. Thor kind of does the same. He thinks he’s losing because he’s without his hammer. At the lowest point of both battles, Hela asks him what he was the god of again…
  
  
  
  
  
• In the split seconds between thoughts, Thor has another vision of Odin in Norway to have a pep talk. Dream Odin asks Thor if he is the “God of Hammers.” There is a Marvel Comics storyline with that name that has Thor throw Mjölnir into the sun, making it come alive and becoming a vengeful “God of Hammers.” Thor rediscovers his confidence after his father told him that HE was more powerful. The hammer only focused his power, it was inside him the whole time
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Like in the arena, Thor erupts in lightning, throwing Hela from the palace. The sound of Led Zeppelin fills the airways again, with Thor fighting the bad guys with his lightning powers. Hulk continues to fight Fenris in the water. Loki uses his horned helmet to fight as well as with knives. Fenris goes over the waterfall and is dead. Skurge is watching all this and throws away his axe. Cowardly, he disguises himself as a refugee in a blanket and gets onboard the Statesman
  
  
• The battle’s not over yet, though. Hela has reemerged and fights Valkyrie, Loki and Thor all together. Thor realizes that he must start Ragnarok in order to defeat Hela. He instructs Loki to go to the Vault and put Sutur’s crown into the Eternal Flame to revive Sutur. Valkyrie and Thor fight Hela on their own but get beaten
  
  
• Skurge finds his backbone and throws off his blanket. He has his twin M-16’s and starts shooting zombie bad guys with far more ammunition than those can carry. Hela then kills him, but has bought the necessary time for the ship to get airborne and safe. Loki gets the crown but not before glancing (and eventually taking) the Tesseract! He puts the crown in the Eternal Flame and uses another Commodore to get to the Statesman ( it's how some Asgardians escape Thanos later on)
  
  
  
  
  
• Sutur erupts from the Asgardian palace in flames, as big as can be, his sword even more powerful than before. After convincing Hulk that Sutur’s not the monster to fight, he jumps them to the Statesman. Hela tries to put up a fight against Ragnarok, but fails. She is presumably killed
  
  
• A final funny line from Korg about rebuilding Asgard as a haven if the foundation survives. It doesn’t; never mind
  
  
• Thor is now king of Asgard, with Loki, Heimdall, Valkyrie, Korg and Hulk by his side. The Hulk is unchanged in his form – is Banner gone? Thor and Loki talk. Thor admires his eye patch (similar to the one that Odin used to wear). Loki doesn’t use an illusion and is actually with Thor in his room
  
  
  
  
  
• Back to the main throne room of the Statesman, everybody is gathered and looking towards Thor. Korg thought Miek died and was carrying around his body but he woke up
  
  
• The movie ends with a great animation sequence like a 1980’s fantasy movie, complete with John Carpenter-esque electronic music
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #1: Thor and Loki talk and Thor decides to go to Earth where Thor is pretty popular but Loki isn’t. Then there’s a shadow coming across, a harbinger of doom. It’s Thanos’ ship, really the beginning of Infinity War
  
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #2: The Grandmaster and his babes tumble out of maybe a panic room or ship and are surrounded by angry former subjects. Grandmaster talks his way out of it (hopefully) by calling the Revolution a success, that he’s proud of everybody but it’s a draw

According to the She-Hulk TV show, Hulk had a son named Skar while being a gladiator on Sakaar (not very original, Hulk). In that show, he’s notified of this via Commodore. Except for a mythical easter egg in Spider-Man Brand New Day, he hasn’t been mentioned since 

One of the coolest things about the DVD release of this movie is the One-Shots Taika did with Hemsworth and another Australian actor playing Darryl. The first two are on the Civil War DVD and the Grandmaster one is on the Thor Ragnarok DVD...