Previously, on Peter screws the pooch...

Spider-Man: Homecoming. Get it? Because Spider-Man is finally in the MCU, back where he belongs. Also, because of the high school dance. Also, because it’s one of Bucky’s Winter Soldier code-words.

I’ve always said that Tobey Maguire is the best Peter Parker and Andrew Garfield was a great Spider-Man. However, Tom Holland does both sides perfectly. He and the other actors in this movie play high school students with the right amount of awkwardness and uncertainty in the world. A lot of people were calling this Peter “Iron Man Jr.” what with all the technology that Tony Stark was giving him. I figured if a genius, billionaire, playboy philanthropist wants to give me a million dollar suit and help me fight crime, I’m okay with that. Plus, it starts Peter off having Avengers as his mentors in the superhero world. As the Russo Brothers said, this Peter isn’t responsible for his Uncle Ben’s death, he’s just a naturally responsible kid, looking out for the little guy. 

He’s definitely a product of the MCU, historically speaking. His character first showed up at the Stark Expo and was saved from a Hammer Drone by Iron Man himself. Then he gains powers and becomes a YouTube superhero saving lives. He’s a genius who’s a friendly neighborhood Spider-Man with his homemade suit and web-shooters. This is the beginning of the Peter Parker journey – his powers and responsibilities increase over time, making this the beginning of a natural high school trilogy. Brand New Day is the beginning of his adult transition. 

Yeah yeah yeah let’s begin. Major spoilers ahead:

• A little kid’s drawing of the Avengers. Is it Liz’s? Or just some random kid? We’re introduced to Adrian Toomes (AKA The Vulture) and his crew. In this case, the Vulture is not some old man like John Malkovitch (from the potential Spider-Man 4 from the Tobey era) or a DaVinci Steampunk drawing from the SpiderVerse. The Vulture refers to the fact that he scavenges super-hero battles for lost tech and sells it to the highest bidder
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Toomes already knows how this stuff works, he tells his guy to use the same stuff the aliens do to take something apart. He has a contract from the city to clean up the mess, he brought on extra guys and trucks. However, Tyne Daley of Damage Control doesn’t care. She cancels his contracts and takes over the site. We find he has a short temper when he decks a fed
  
  
  
  
  
• Turns out that Tony Stark made a deal with the government to found Damage Control to clean everything up. So the Avengers make the mess and Stark literally gets paid to clean it up. Tyne mentions Executive Order 396B. I found two instances of this order in real life for New York City especially. One from three years ago regarding flash floods. The other is in regards to AI performers. In California it has to do with price gouging and in Massachusetts it’s in regards to Mental Retardation in 1997
  
  
• Michael Keaton got a lot of flack when he became Batman in 1989, but now most fans say he was the best to wear the cowl. Hell, I saw the trailer at a Comic-Con as a kid in 1988 and it was awesome! Now he turns into the bad guy and has incredible menace as the Vulture!
  
  
  
  
  
• They decide to keep the alien stuff and turn it into a lucrative business, selling alien weaponry to the criminal masses. His main guy for doing this is Mason, called by fans The Tinkerer, a naturally curious inventor. There’s also the two Shockers (but not until later)
  
  
  
  
  
• The Vulture looks incredible. Toomes is wearing a bomber jacket with fur and a fighter pilot’s helmet. His rig is giant, with parts from alien technology. Very intimidating. I know the filmmakers wanted to make him part of Falcon’s old para-rescue unit who had a similar but understated flying rig, but this was abandoned
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• The screen stupidly says “8 Years Later,” but we know that’s a mistake
  
  
• A FILM BY PETER PARKER
  
  
• This little sequence shows how much of a kid Peter Parker really is. Happy Hogan and Peter drive by the giant globe from the Stark Expo while he narrates in a tough-guy Queens voice. As I said before, Peter first met Tony (canonically) at the Expo, and Happy is Tony’s bodyguard \ driver. He will go on to play a crucial role in Peter’s life
  
  
• Peter’s never been on a plane before, private or otherwise. It self-flies to Germany. The next image looks like Tom Holland on vacation in Berlin, flirting with the frauleins and NOT being undercover. Peter was ready to fight the other Avengers in his spider-sweatsuit and web-shooters. Tony made an advanced technology suit for Peter – he did this awfully fast, already understanding his powers and the capabilities of web-shooting ideas
  
  
• We see the Battle in the Airport through his point of view: Underoos, etc. I did miss the fact that originally Spidey said “holy shit” when Ant-Man got big in Civil War, this was glossed over in Homecoming
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• Peter makes an alibi video with Tony Stark after Germany (wouldn’t have Aunt May seen that Tony was in Germany fighting Captain America on the news?). He gets to keep the advanced Spidey suit and will wait for Tony (or somebody) to call. Peter’s Spidey sense (or his Peter Tingle as Aunt May calls it) goes off while they’re waiting in the limo. Peter is obviously strong, picking up his suitcase with no problem (Happy had a problem and didn’t want to carry it upstairs). Also, Tony’s not ready to hug yet. This will change after the Blip
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter’s on the subway two months later, bored with school and silently waiting for school to end
  
  
• Their text exchanges:

> Need my assistance?
> What is Tony up to?
> Tell him I say hi!
> B) – (editor’s note: I believe this is the fist bump we see on the screen)
> Hey Happy!
> Just checking in again.
> Really miss our missions, hoping to do one again soon!
> Do you think you’ll need me today?
> I get out of school at 2:45
> Ready when you are!
> Hey Happy
> Just updating you on the latest!
> Helped clear the road for an ambulance
> Stopped a guy trying to mug an old man
> Just being me, clearing up Queens!
> School is so boring
> Wish I could be doing more
> Just let me know!
> This is your number, right?
> Happy?
> Press 1 if yes, 2 if no
> How’s Black Widow?
> Or should I say “Natasha”
> Big News! Quit band practice
> So I have more time for crime-fighting
> Pretty big sacrifice
> But I’m completely committed
> Hey happy, just checking in! I’m out of school at 2:45 PM
> Ready for my next mission!
> It’s Peter BTW
> Parker

• I wonder what instrument Peter played. At this point in time, Black Widow, Natasha, is a federal fugitive and probably hanging with Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson on a Quinjet
  
  
• The Midtown School of Science and Technology! Peter’s special high school with the best and brightest. Drones fly around, rich kids drive Audis (like Tony Stark’s favorite car brand) and there’s a mural of Howard Stark in the hallway with other science greats
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• His best friend Ned Leeds arrives with his LEGO Emperor Palpatine (something Peter keeps after the Dr. Strange memory wipe later in the movie series -- Honestly, that must have driven Ned nuts not being able to find ol' Palps). He has the LEGO Death Star with 3, 803 pieces. Set #10188 from my research. This is the 2008 version and has since been rereleased. It used to cost over a thousand dollars!
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• This version of Ned is the spitting image of Ganke Lee from Miles Morales’ version of Spider-Man. Ned has become a vital part of this franchise. I like the way jobs sound to young Ned – “Nice job on those spreadsheets. Have a gold coin.”
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• We also see Peter and Ned’s crush, Liz Allan (to avoid those spoilers, she has a different last name than her father Adrian). Played by Laura Harrier, I remember around the same time she had a Calvin Klein commercial out on TV. We also see a blonde girl next to her: Betty Brant is not Gwen Stacey! She’s played by Angourie Rice who was great in The Nice Guys and unbeknownst to me until recently, has a British accent! In the Tobey franchise, Betty was older and played by Elizabeth Banks! They are putting up a banner for HOMECOMING; Peter and Ned are drooling
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
  
• We’re also introduced to Michelle Jones, played by the one-named Zendaya. She’s awesomely sarcastic and dark. She gets her start in the franchise here, playing a smaller role than what she’ll do later. She’s not quite friends with the guys but is warming up to it. We don’t know it yet, but she’s his MJ
  
  
  
  
  
• In all the classes we see Peter in, he’s concentrating on Spider-Man stuff, not Peter Parker High School learning stuff. In science, he’s watching a Youtube video on himself. Did Peter post that footage, similar to how Peter Parker takes the photos on Spider-Man that he sells to the Daily Bugle?
  
  
  
  
  
• He talks about linear acceleration (something about gravity x sign), something he uses to websling as Spidey. We see that Flash Thompson is fast with his answer but ultimately wrong. One of the guys in Peter’s class is in ROTC on the high school level (my ex-roommate was in ROTC in College and went on to a great military career). On the walls of the science classroom, you can see Bruce Banner amongst other scientific luminaries. In a way, Peter will eventually have Banner as his professor. Kind of
  
  
  
  
  
• Eugene "Flash" Thompson. A new kind of bully for the 21st Century. Not huge and intimidating like previous Flashes, this one looks like he’d be on the soccer team and make fun of you. Precisely what this Flash does. One previous Flash was played by the manly and huge Joe Maganiello and the other one was a High School basketball star with blonde hair who didn’t turn out to be so bad. More on Flash as we go along
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• Another class has him mixing up a new batch of web-fluid. We meet Mr. Harrington. Now a teacher at Midtown, he was formerly a pizza-loving computer guy in Virginia during The Hulk. Peter is quitting the Academic Decathlon team (along with Marching band and robotics) so he can spend more time as Spider-Man (the real Stark Internship). His teammates are great including Abraham and Cindy (who’s just cute as hell). Michelle sees that Peter has been quitting school activities quite a bit. There’s also the New Jersey kid and Flash (not sure how he made it on –maybe just his quickness with the buzzer despite being wrong). Mr. Harrington also tells Abraham not to use the bell as a comedic device
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Before we move on to the meat, I want to say that I love the Midtown High School News segments. They're so high school and cheesy
  
  
  
  
  
  The bell rings and Peter is free to be Spider-Man. Delmar’s Deli looks like a great place to eat. He later expands his business to other locations and prints t-shirts, probably from the insurance from the explosion coming up. Peter reveals he knows Spanish more than Mr. Delmar thought (that actor just played an Imperial Warlord in The Mandalorian & Grogu movie) and gets gummy worms and the #5, smooshed down with pickles. We don’t know what the #5 is, but this great website tells you their ideas on MCU food
  
  
  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• Unbeknownst to Peter, Happy really does report back what Peter does to Tony Stark. He stops a bike theft. Then we meet Clev, who’s a hot dog vendor. The bearded dude next to him is the same punk who Spock Vulcan-Death-Gripped in Star Trek The Voyage Home. Clev asks Spidey to do a flip, which he did. Clev would later move to San Francisco and watch Shang-Chi decimate some Ten Rings fighters on a bus (which he goes viral for). Stan Lee makes an appearance from a window and flirts with a neighbor. He’s given a churro from an old Dominican lady, which looks delicious
  
  

  
  
  
  
• ATM robbery at the Queens Community Bank (no such thing). The bad guy’s Halloween Avengers masks are great. They look like the Avengers from the 60’s cartoons and in real life, they were made by a company called Ben Cooper
  
  
  
  
  
• The sign inside the ATM area says to stop identity theft, which is what Spidey is doing by stopping robbers who are pretending to be the Avengers. The Thor mask is wearing a helmet, something the MCU Thor doesn’t traditionally do but the comic one does. Peter quips that he hasn’t met him or Hulk yet (and he hadn't)
  
  
  
  
  
• In real life, two guys tried to do this too in Charlotte and Indianapolis
  
  
• That’s not important. The important thing is there using super high-tech devices to rob the ATM. There’s a cutter one and a grabber one, both look like alien technology on Earth. Spidey stops them but they do use the alien tech against him and one essentially blows up, sending a destructive beam across the street to Delmar’s Deli on 21st St
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter saves Mr. Delmar and his cat but the bank robbers got away. He now has a mystery to solve regarding these high-tech weapons \ devices
  
  
• He calls Happy to tell him about it but is kinda blown off. It’s almost Moving Day for the Avengers Tower. Tony sold it to Valentina De Fontaine of O.X.E. and the Thunderbolts (unbeknownst at this time). DUM-E has a vase that’s more expensive than him or Happy and has a history of dropping things. Happy does tell Tony though, off-screen. In the meantime, Peter’s backpack was stolen from its nasty dumpster hiding place – not very responsible
  
  
  
  
  
• The apartment that Peter and May are at is a little nicer than the one from Civil War. Also some upgraded technology. I wonder if Peter’s time as an intern at Stark Industries allowed him to level up a couple of things. He sneaks in in full Spider-Man regalia, takes off his mask and closes the window and door to his room
  
  
• Peter’s a Star Wars fan with his AT-AT and is a Mets fan as well. Not only does Peter use the AT-AT as inspiration to take down Giant Man, and Ned watches this scene during Brand New Day. Ned drops the Lego Death Star after seeing Peter climb on the walls in his costume. There have been a great many articles and videos saying that if the Lego Death Star was to be dropped, it would not break like it does (or maybe it does, I've seen both ways)
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned is now the first of Peter’s friends to find out he’s Spider-Man besides Tony Stark. He recognizes Spidey from YouTube and asks if it’s magnets that help him wallcrawl. Ned also has a crush on Aunt May (played by the considerably younger-than-usual-Aunt-May’s-Marisa Tomei). She burnt the Turkey Meatloaf so they’re going for Thai
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• When May takes Peter out to dinner, you can see a sign for the Korean Church of Asgard. We find out later in the franchise that Peter has studied Thor in science class. What is larb? The internet tells me it’s meat-minced salad
  
  
  
  
  
• Aunt May makes several more larb puns and they talk about Peter running away when there’s danger. He needs a new backpack (he's lost around 6). The Thai waiter also has a crush on May and gives her sticky rice pudding for free, a sweet Thai dessert. There’s also a portrait of a young Thai guy in a red military uniform (their king)
  
  
  
  
  
• The next day finds Peter and Ned walking down the street past Delmar’s, with Peter carrying all his books since he has no backpack. He tells Ned that he was bitten by a spider (now dead) and Ned confirms it didn’t bite him as well
  
  
  
  
  
• Throughout school, Ned asks a series of Spider-Man and spider-related questions…does he lay eggs? Does he spit venom? Summon an army of spiders? How far can he shoot his webs? Cuz if it was Ned, he’d stand on a roof and just shoot them… Their teacher also talks about the Sokovia Accords
  
  
• Gym Class: Finally, actors who look like awkward high school students and not jacked adults! Peter mentions to Ned that he fought Captain America (although Tony would be to differ) and stole his shield. Michelle Jones reads Of Human Bondage
  
  
• Rappin’ with Cap!! Captain America by this time is a federal fugitive, accused of breaking the Sokovia Accords among other things. The state of New York, however, will still use his PSA’s in lieu of anything else. Judging by his costume and demeanor, these PSA’s were probably filmed after the Battle of New York and Steve was probably obligated to do those things as a New Yorker and a WWII and modern hero. They appear everywhere in the school, more than likely a New York-wide initiative. Comedian Hannibal Buress is the Coach (he's primarily famous for saying Bill Cosby was awful)
  
  
  
  
• Ned asks questions while doing situps. Peter’s doing them correctly and when the Coach calls him out for it, Peter then grimaces and does a poor job. Ned’s questions: do Avengers pay taxes (Falcon says yes)? Does the Hulk smell? Is Cap cool or a mean grandpa? Liz, Betty and their group play a game of F, Marry Kill Avengers edition. It’s revealed that Liz has a crush on Spider-Man after watching his YouTube videos. She would love him even if he has burns all over his face (which I’m sure would change once Spidey busts her dad). Ned gets overly-excited and blurts out that Peter knows Spider-Man through the Stark Internship. She invites all three to her Senior party. Flash is doubtful, Peter’s mad at Ned
  
  
• Ned is wearing a confidence-building hat and the two get dropped off at the suburban party by Aunt May. Flash is there as DJ FLASH (he has his own turntables). He calls out Peter as “Penis Parker,” one of his favorite insults. Random fact: at the end of the credits, a song pops up that says “FLASHDRV,” performed by Eugene Thompson -- even if I can't find this track
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned and Peter discuss plans to have Spider-Man come in, talk to Ned and swing off. In suburbia. At a random teenage party. With Ned, Peter gone elsewhere. This has disaster written all over it to begin with. Liz is there overseeing the party with Red Solo Cups and pizza and Michelle has toast at the party, denying being there at all. It makes me think maybe she’s been there at the house before, maybe before popularity hit
  
  
• While getting dressed as Spidey, Peter sees an explosion in the distance and decides to check it out. But it's in the suburbs and there’s no way to websling there. He runs there
  
  
  
  
  
• We see two of The Vulture’s goons trying to sell alien guns to Aaron Davis, played by Donald Glover. He’s famous in Spider-land by inspiring Miles Morales. He’s too old to play Miles now, but he can play his uncle. Aaron Davis is the Prowler in the Spider-Verse movies. We got an non-animated version of Prowler in the second Spider-Verse movie as Donald Glover in armor
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Unfortunately, one of the Goons is THE SHOCKER. He tries to sell Prowler as “sub-Ultron arm from Sokovia” but Prowler’s does want it. He’s interested in anti-grav climbers, right up the Prowler’s MO. Shocker has this glove that emits electricity. We recognize it as Crossbone’s gauntlet from Civil War and find out later it’s been repurposed by the Tinkerer. He hits Peter with the glove and Peter goes flying. He saves Prowler’s life, who notices this heroism. The Shocker and his associate (Bokeem Woodbine, great as usual as a villain) try to shoot him with various alien guns. Peter gives chase but is held back by suburbia
  
  
• The chase scene in the suburbs is directly cribbed from Ferris Bueller. But before Spidey can get justice, The Vulture flies out of nowhere and carries him into the sky, saving his goons. They go really high in the air and Spidey’s parachute (built into the spider symbol on his back) activates and he falls out of Vulture's mechanical claws into water
  
  
  
  
  
• Spidey almost drowns but is saved by Iron Man. The armor looks like the Ultimates version with gray mixed in. However, Tony’s not in the armor. He’s in India at a wedding. He calls Peter Crockett, after Don Johnson’s cop character in the original Miami Vice. Tony also mentions he has some pull with colleges. MIT! Exactly where he wanted to go and where Ned, MJ and Riri Williams go! They end the conversation with Tony telling Peter not to get involved with the flying Vulture guy. Peter ignores this advice
  
  
  
  
  
• So far, two of Iron Man’s previous adventures have saved or helped Spidey. Tony always learns from his mistakes and plans accordingly armor-wise. First, the parachute: if War Machine had that in Germany, Rhodey wouldn’t be paralyzed. Second, Tony built a warmer and tracking beacon. If he had a warmer, things might have been easier in Tennessee and his friends would have been able to track him in various places around the world
  
  
• Ned calls Peter, telling him the party was a disaster after he left him hanging and Flash is having the crowd chant “Penis Parker” over and over again. Peter then finds what’s left of the alien weapon and brings it home with him
  
  
• The Vulture is furious at his goons, but one doesn’t care and is fired (or quit, either way). He threatens to go to the Vulture’s wife with what he knows. The Vulture picks up a weapon (thinking it’s an anti-grav gun) and shoots The Shocker. He freaking disintegrates, leaving only the gauntlet behind. Vulture is surprised, but it doesn’t really bother him. He has to get more raw material to do the next sale and tells Bokeem that he’s the new Shocker. The Tinkerer reminds him about a High Altitude Vacuum Seal but is blown off as usual
  
  
  
  
  
• Shop Class at Midtown: Peter is literally hammering away at the alien power core. The Vulture’s guys have been melding our technology with alien technology to make weapons. Ned points out there are microprocessors and an inductive charging plate (same as his electric toothbrush)
  
  
• Ned is really showing why he’s at Midtown Science! They do their secret handshake (one that plays a critical role in Brand New Day)

  @suprememelia Ultimate friendship level unlocked #spiderman ♬ Blitzkrieg Bop (Mono) - Ramones

• Ned suggests putting the alien thingee in the Mass Spectrometer to figure out what it actually is
  
  
• Bad guys show up to the school. How did they get in in the first place? They’re dressed as workmen, carrying some kind of device to track a radiation symbol. A little kid obsessed with chess (we’ll see him again soon) talks with Ned. Peter puts a spider-tracking device on one of the bad guys while hiding under a table
  
  
  
  
  
• And in case you didn’t know it, the TIGERS are the school’s mascot. As in, “Face it tiger, you hit the jackpot!”
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned and Peter track the bad guys with the Spidey suit all night from Peter’s apartment, where it settles in Maryland. How to get there? The Academic Decathlon is in DC, Peter can just go to that and stop the bad guys! Without Tony or Happy’s permission!
  
  
  
  
  
• He goes to Mr. Harrington and the team get on the bus to DC and ask for his position back; he gets it over Flash’s objections. Liz is the captain and pop-quizes her team. A deleted scene shows the team driving past the destroyed Triskelion. 2nd law of thermodynamics, Frank Sinatra, NOT Fort Sumter. Peter answers a question with “Strontium, Barium and Vibranium.” A very MCU era answer. Google tells me the first two are “reactive alkaline metals,” probably meaning Vibranium (from Wakanda) is too
  
  
• Showing he’s a computer genius, Ned hacks the Tony Stark-designed Spider suit and turns off the “Training Wheels Protocol,” something that Tony implemented so Peter can’t use the full capabilities of the suit until he’s ready. Hacking that couldn’t have been easy. Peter also removes the tracker and fixes it to a lamp in the hotel room. He bitches about being treated like a kid while jumping on the bed
  
  
• Peter leaves the hotel room to go track the bad guys to their evil lair. He passes by Liz in a bathing suit, his team participating in a rebellious group activity is good for morale. They all go swimming. She says she got it either from a TikTok or a coaching book. I can’t find it online. Plus candy bars from the mini bar is around $11.00
  
  
• Peter is again missing out on a high school activity with peers, citing his responsibility as Spider-Man. Important: Ned has the alien weapon thingee in his backpack while covering for Peter
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter talks to the AI governing his suit, now active since he passed the Training Wheels Protocols (allegedly). The voice is Jennifer Connolly. This is pretty significant since her real-life husband is Paul Bettanny, The Vision himself. I wonder if she’ll show up as a cameo in VisionQuest. He discovers the bad guys are on a heist from Damage Control, not in their evil lair
  
  
• The group, including the new Shocker and Tinkerer, discuss that he got the Shocker gauntlet from the Lagos cleanup and added his own flair. Peter is having some trouble with his webshooters, with Tony having 576 webshooter capabilities, enhanced combat with instant kill (he’ll use that in Endgame, by the way) and other Iron Man-like abilities
  
  
  
  
  
• Vulture comes from the sky to rob one of the Damage Control trucks. Peter interferes but accidentally gets locked in the truck. The Vulture gets nothing from the heist but Peter will end up missing the Decathlon and has a minor concussion|
  
  
• Peter gets bored quickly in the Damage Control facility and runs through his suit’s new capabilities. He finds a red-eyed Ultron head (that usually means Ultron is in control) but that’s quickly put aside. I can guess why Peter named his AI Karen. It’s the name of the supercomputer in Spongebob Squarepants
  
  
  
  
  
• Using his genius and a Scientific calculator, he’s able to open the doors to the facility and escape to the Decathlon. He also finds out from Karen that the alien thingee is a Chitauri Power Core and will blow up if subjected to radiation
  
  
• Midtown Science wins the Decathlon thanks to Michelle’s answer of “0.” Peter is not there! The team gets a trophy that Flash claims as his own (and wants to expel Peter). They go to the Washington Monument. Michelle, wearing a Sylvia Plath shirt, doesn’t want to celebrate something that was built by slaves and will read her book on the ground. Ned’s backpack goes through an x-ray machine and gets subjected to radiation. While riding up in the elevator, the bomb explodes in pinprick beams of light, destroying the elevator’s systems
  
  
• Spider-Man tries to get to the top of the Monument as quickly as possible! Peter can’t quite break through the ballistic glass windows on the top. A Metro DC helicopter flies by to shoot Spider-Man for climbing the Washington Monument. Using his new Spidey-wings and momentum from the helicopter, Peter is able to bust into the Monument, just saving his teammates. Karen wants him to kiss Liz, Tobey Maguire and Kirsten Dunst-style, upside down with the half mask. The next time we see the Washington Monument in the MCU, it was getting wrecked by Red Hulk
  
  
  
  
  
• Back home in NYC, the student news with Betty Brant celebrated the Decathlon win with interviews. The New Jersey kid says it was like a Bon Jovi concert while Mr Harrington doesn’t want to lose another student. Another student? Ned really wants to tell people since Spidey is currently popular in the school but Peter talks him out of it
  
  
  
  
• It’s now time for Peter to accept the consequences of ditching the hotel and missing the Decathlon. Peter was ready to skip Spanish class to go after Vulture again and join the Avengers, but High School life interferes. He gets detention. There’s another Captain America video with him in the backwards chair. He says, just ask yourself: What Would Captain America Do (WWCAD for short)? Michelle’s there for no reason other than to sketch people in crisis. Peter ditches detention too and goes home
  
  
  
  
  
• But first, he picks up spare web fluid. He lifts up a bank of lockers where he keeps his old sweat-suit and web fluid containers. The area under the lockers must be hollow? Also, there are clear marks on the wall where the lockers have been lifted time and again. I guess no janitor or clever teacher ever noticed this
  
  
• He reviews the footage that Karen took of the night of the party. Peter has a funny moment of pretending to be Thor with a wood meat tenderizer as a hammer and rehearsing what he was going to say at the party. Karen identifies Aaron Davis as a suspect
  
  
• Peter puts on Enhanced Interrogation Mode, complete with an amplified scary voice to talk to Davis. Donald Glover is not impressed or intimidated but tells Spidey what he wants to know. He was impressed that Spidey was going to risk his life for Aaron’s. He has a nephew! That is future planning, it’s Miles Morales!!!! The two also discuss the best sandwiches in Queens being Delmar’s or SubHaven (too much bread)
  
  
  
  
  
• Vulture is about to do a deal with a psycho named Mac Gargan (who has a homicide charge against him, not sure how he wasn't in jail then). We know now that the equipment Gargan wants is a Scorpion suit, among other things
  
  
  
  
  
• The deal is on the Staten Island Ferry leaving now. Spidey gets on it. He ignores a call from Aunt May (probably asking why he’s not in detention right now) and gets another one from Tony Stark himself. Tony tells him good job in DC and states he sounds like his dad, Howard (the events of Civil War probably brought up a lot of memories of his dad). Breaking the cycle of shame and all that. Peter cuts him off short when the deal starts going down. Spidey interferes and beats up the goons but it’s all a set-up
  
  
• The FBI is there, watching both sides of the deal. They were tipped off by Tony Stark about the Vulture and alien weaponry. That's Avengers small potatoes.While he’s fighting the bad guys, Mac Gargan is hanging on the back of the ferry but is hit by a car into the ocean. One of the Vulture’s weapons start to malfunction and shears the ferry in half
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• Spidey tries to web the boat back together but fails. He even does the “Spidey pose while trying to hold things together by hand” like Tobey did on the subway. He fails until Iron Man comes with the exact technology needed to save the boat and people on it
  
  
  
  
  
• I wonder if that Staten Island ferry is the same one Pete Davidson and Colin Jost bought
  
  
• The Vulture and crew are back at their evil lair. They’re out of technology and need more in order to survive. Shocker wants to run, but Vulture can’t because of his family. Tinkerer suggests the High Altitude Seal again and this time, Vulture relents. It’s time for the Hail Mary big job!
  
  
• Peter and Tony argue on a rooftop. Tony called the FBI because he listened to Peter, but not to Peter’s liking. Tony wants the million-dollar Spidey suit back. “If you’re nothing without the suit then you shouldn’t have it!” Tony says again he sounds like Howard. He wants it back NOW and even buys Peter pajama pants and a NYC touristy t-shirt to go home. No more high-tech Spider-Man
  
  
  
  
  
• May is even angrier, knowing that Peter ditched school and the Decathlon and goes out every night! Peter doesn’t tell her he’s Spider-Man, only says he lost the Stark Internship despite trying his hardest and giving up everything
  
  
• Peter’s got detention but isn’t expelled. The school principal is not from Fresno, Ace. But his grandfather is. The same actor plays grandson and grandfather. Morita served in WWII with the Howling Commandos and the SSR. The principal has his grandfather’s medals and picture in his office at Midtown Science and Technology. Ned was afraid that Peter would have to go to the sketchy High School on 46th Street where the principal has a crossbow. Peter tells him it’s an urban myth
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
  
• The High School on 46th is the Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis High School for International Careers; it’s a magnet school
  
  
• It’s also the former location of the Fame school for Performing Arts. I can’t find any instance of a principal with a crossbow, though. Maybe a bat?
  
  
• Peter starts to do normal High School stuff. He goes to detention with the Coach and Michelle Jones. Spanish Class: Me gusta hacer la tarea (he likes to do homework). He builds the LEGO Death Star with Ned in the band room (but now one of them has to bring it home on the subway)
  
  
• Then, while traveling to the bathroom with a gigantic high school hall pass, he runs into Liz. Creepily, he knows what class she’s supposed to be in. She’s doing homecoming stuff and hasn’t gotten a date yet. She has new priorities after nearly dying in DC and doesn’t think Peter can keep secrets. Mightily, Peter asks her to the dance and she says yes. Tom Holland’s facial expressions tell us everything
  
  
• Peter then spends YouTube time learning to tie a tie, putting on cologne and dancing. Normal teen-age high school stuff, not Spider-Man stuff
  
  
• He goes to pick up Liz for their date and who answers the door? THE VULTURE!!! Probably one of the biggest reveals the MCU has ever done, I didn’t expect it although clues were dropped that Vulture had a family. I was incorrect thinking it was Michelle’s father and I’m glad I was wrong!
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter’s so shocked, he’s blowing the date already. Vulture drives Liz and Peter to school before his “flight out of town” and Liz lets it slip that Peter has a Stark Internship and knows Spider-Man but was also in DC. He puts the pieces together and then Keaton gives the most menacing performances to date!
  
  
  
  
  
• He takes out his gun after Liz goes into the school and threatens Peter. He’s relieved that Liz doesn’t know he’s really Spider-Man and then menaces: “I’ll kill you and everybody you love.” Tells Peter to do regular High School stuff and stay out of his business. Shaken, Peter goes into the school. He did, however, leave his phone in the car so he could trace Vulture’s location. So he’s already made up his mind what he’s going to do
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned waves and Michelle gives him the finger. He says “sorry” again to Liz and leaves
  
  
  
  
  
• He picks up his old sweat-suit uniform from his hidey place under the lockers and goes outside to where the buses live
  
  
  
  
  
• However, the new Shocker is there to kill him! Since Peter had doubts about letting Vulture go, so did the Vulture and had a contingency plan
  
  
• For a while there was a picture of Shocker in full comic uniform but that version never appeared onscreen
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Shocker is beating the crap out of Peter, electrifying him from one end of the bus yard to another. He loses one of his web shooters at the beginning of the fight. A comedic bit: when Peter is knocked into a bus, he sees all the gum on the bottom of the seats: “gross!”
  
  
• Just when Shocker’s about to give the coup de grace, Ned comes out of nowhere and perfectly distracts Shocker by shooting a web using the dropped web shooter (and seeing how far it goes?). Peter finishes up the fight and wins, trapping Shocker to the fence. A kid (the same chess and bathroom kid) found the electric glove outside and posed with it for the school news. It's a deleted scene. From this, it seems like Shocker actually got away from the police and left the glove there. The glove ended up in Damage Control’s hands and eventually into Spider-Man’s
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned becomes his Guy In The Chair, a position Peter once mocked and didn’t need, now suits him perfectly
  
  
• But, first Spidey has to find Vulture to stop him. He decides on stealing a car (even though he doesn’t know how to drive) rather than web slinging there. Flash makes a comment about branzino, which is what the Stacey family had for dinner in the first Amazing Spider-Man with Andrew Garfield. Ned looks up the owner’s manual for an Audi R8 V10 Spyder (coincidence? I doubt it). It’s Flash’s father’s car but Flash drives it and it’s his nickname on the license plate – FLASHDRV. The car would have cost around $175,000.00 back in 2017. You can find the owner’s manual online like Ned did,  among others. The official one comes from Audi themselves (with your VIN)
  
  
• Specs for the Audi
  
  
• Price for a personalized plate in NYC: $91.25 initially then $62.50 for renewal. Flash’s dad is rich! And Flash is a jerk! But he does know how to drive a stick shift. Flash is later revealed to be a huge Spidey fan. Is this because of his first-hand interaction with the hero robbing him of his car? He also had to notice that Spidey knows his name. His dad’s insurance must have gone through the roof, not to mention repairs to the car itself
  
  
• Ned mentions the Gamestop on Jackson Avenue. There’s apparently one in Jackson Heights itself, but it closed and maybe moved:
  
  
• Happy is preparing the plane to take off and go to the new Avengers HQ. Here’s some killer Easter Eggs! Happy mentions:
  
  
• Hulkbuster Armor: By this point, Tony would have fixed the Veronica armor he had on while battling the Hulk in Johannesburg. It’s all fixed up by the time Bruce Banner wore it in Wakanda – this must be it
  
  
  
  
  
• Captain America’s prototype new shield: Cap has wielded the same Vibranium shield since WWII, never changing it up except to install magnets that call it back to him in Age of Ultron. Phil Coulson in Agents of SHIELD had his own version of Cap’s shield, like the energy one Cap used for a while in the comics. Perhaps it trickled down to Coulson as Director of SHIELD
  
  
  
  
  
• Thor’s Magic Belt: Used in both comics and Norse Mythology. A little bit unpronounceable. It’s called the Megingjörð and it increases Thor’s strength. Screenrant posited that a human mortal wearing the belt might also get increased strength. It was used when even Thor’s strength was not enough, he needed a little boost. Why it was in Avengers Tower instead of Asgard I don’t know, maybe Thor thought he needed extra strength (he wasn’t even on Earth during Civil War) and forgot about it
  
  
  
  
  
• Ned is eventually caught in the computer lab and makes up a likely but weak excuse: porn. Sadly, this is not an original excuse for students or teachers
  
  
• Peter completely destroys Flash’s car on the way to the evil lair, leaving it on its side. He breaks into the lair and finds Vulture, who has been expecting him the whole time (showing his high opinion of Peter: he disobeyed his directives in the car and knew he would; he also knew Peter would beat the Shocker and find him). They talk for a few minutes: Vulture knows Peter’s not a typical rich kid who goes to the special High School. Peter shows his naiveté by saying the whole things over, he caught the bad guy. Spidey’s never had to venture beyond the catching the bad guy point, he’s always webbed them up and left, no follow-up. Peter says the Vulture’s a gun dealer, but Vulture counters with “so is your buddy Tony Stark.” The Vulture wings destroy the columns holding up the roof, crashing the whole thing on Peter (who was getting a bit overconfident)
  
  
• For the first time, Peter is completely alone under the rubble, nobody like Iron Man to help him. He begins to panic and yell for help. He takes his homemade mask off and in the puddle, sees his reflection: half Peter, half Spider-Man. He finds the confidence within himself (“C’mon, Spider-Man!!”) and lifts the rubble. He goes after Vulture again, mid-air
  
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
• So the Stark ship has Retro-Reflective Paneling, the same stuff that made the SHIELD Helicarrier invisible and the same stuff Harley Keener suggested doing for the new Iron Man or War Machine armors. There are cameras on the outside projecting on the ship’s skin, making it invisible. Vulture finally uses Tinkerer’s High Altitude Vacuum Seal, allowing him to stick to the hull of the plane, making a little turtle shell and able to get into the plane itself (which is stupidly unmanned)
  
  
• Vulture finds Chitauri guns, ARC Reactors, Iron Man helmets and even full suits. Lots of stuff to make money with. Meanwhile, Peter is desperately trying to hold onto the fast plane. He doesn’t avoid the cameras, so his image is projected onto the hull. At one point, he says” typical homecoming, outside an invisible jet, fighting my girlfriend’s dad.” A little presumptuous, calling Liz your girlfriend, especially when you just ditched her. It reminds me of a similar scene in Sky High
  
  
  
  
  

  
  
  

  

  
  
  
  
• It’s actually Peter who starts the plane crash! He not only breaks the High Altitude seal, but also destroys an entire engine, forcing it to the ground
  
  
• Vulture keeps attacking him, but Peter is mainly concentrating on not falling off the plane or getting killed. Peter, using webs and pure strength, is able to point the plane crash towards the beach on Coney Island|
  
  
• The crash is so loud that no audio is heard, just a whining white noise. Peter can see that the Vulture’s suit and wings are malfunctioning and about to explode, but Vulture interprets his actions as more attacks, more of this kid getting in the way of my family. It looks like Vulture may kill Peter but his greed takes over and he tries to claw a box full of ARC Reactors. His suit does explode, but Peter once again saves his life, and he knows it. Peter surveys the damage from the Cyclone Roller Coaster (the same one Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes rode 60+ years before)
  
  
• Back at school, he tells Ned everything that happened. I can see why Liz is pretty upset with Peter: she gets dumped at the Prom by a loser sophomore and then her dad is arrested on serious charges. Plus, she doesn’t even get to finish her Senior Year out at Midtown High but has to go to Oregon. Her whole educational pathway may have been altered. She holds a grudge years later, too! In Spider-Man No Way Home, Doctor Strange passes by a newsstand and Liz is on the cover of People Magazine, talking about Peter Parker and Spider-Man (his identity is briefly known to the public). "He's a Liar!" It seems a bit beneath her to go to a tabloid, maybe the family needed the money?
  
  
  
  
  
• Michelle Jones wants to be called MJ by her friends. So we have ourselves an MJ for Peter. She’s figuring out that Peter is Spider-Man by her intelligence alone. MJ is asking questions already about Peter’s absences. She’s also falling for him. I find it funny that every actor iteration of Peter Parker seems to fall for his on-screen girlfriend, whether she’s an MJ or Gwen. They usually have great chemistry and eventually break up. Now, Tom Holland and Zendaya are married and are starring in several movies together
  
  
• He gets a phone call from Happy and excuses himself. MJ asks some pointed questions but ultimately lets him go. He meets Happy in a bathroom. However, chess kid is there and takes his sweet ass time leaving. Happy thanks Peter and drives him to meet Tony
  
  
• Tony talks to Peter, thinks the past was a tough-love story to spurn Peter on his heroic quest. He’s giving Peter an updated Spider-suit, The Iron Spider and to invite him into the Avengers. There’s a gaggle of press people eager to talk to him. Peter thinks that this is a test and refuses the honor. Tony goes along with it and has Happy drive him home
  
  
  
  
  
• Tony and Pepper are back together again! The press conference Peter and Tony were going to was going to announce Peter Parker, the Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man as the newest Avenger (could he have moved into Avengers HQ with Vision? He was a minor at the time and probably wouldn't have gotten Aunt May’s permission). I can imagine the press conference more like the one from the Civil War comics where Peter reveals his secret identity to the world; which is exactly what would have happened since the Avengers’ identities are publicly known to the world. I also realized that Pepper knows Peter is Spider-Man as well. Instead, Tony proposes live on TV to Pepper. Big headlines!
  
  
  
  
  
• Peter gets home and finds a paper bag with his original Spider-suit, the Training Wheels back on. Aunt May walks in, sees Peter in his full suit, and says “What the F--!” Boom. Credits! The aftermath of this encounter is somewhat covered in telepathic therapy in Brand New Day
  
  
• The animated credits are great, rocking along to the Ramones (but cleverly avoids their Spider-Man song)!
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #1: Vulture talks with Scorpion in jail! Scorpion violently hates Spidey and wants to put his head in a dryer. He’s heavily scarred by the experience of fighting Spidey on the Ferry, adding to his scary scorpion tattoo. He heard a rumor that Vulture knows who Spidey really is but Vulture puts the kibosh on that idea. He’s going with the slow burn, waiting to have revenge. It took Scorpion about 9 years to come back to the MCU but not Vulture. Michael Keaton is just too good for that kinda stuff
  
  
  
  
  
• I hate what they did to The Vulture! He never makes another MCU appearance. Based on the original Morbius trailers, I thought he was going to have a variant in the Sony universe. Instead, they had the kinda cool idea of transporting him over to another universe (one with Morbius in it), and had him released from jail – only because that universe had no reason for him to be in jail. He seemed fine with never seeing his family again, built a new suit (how? There is no alien junk over there just lying around, and he didn’t seem to have that genius ability to build a new suit from junk). Then he talks to Morbius (?!) about Spider-Man. Sony then tanked the entire idea and so far, no revenge from the Vulture
  
  
  
  

  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #2: Captain America. Patience. A meta-commentary on Marvel fans waiting for a post credit scene that may tell us something new about our favorite universe. We wait for boring credits to fly by and wait…
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
• Post Credit Scene #3: Uncle Aaron talks with his nephew Miles about not making whatever family gathering he was going to. This scene was apparently available on the DVD but I couldn’t find it

We continue on the Road to Doomsday, and there is maybe enough time for Infinity War and the original Endgame. I’ll obviously write a separate article on the Encore, which I can’t wait for!